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The Crimes of a Nice Emperor

“The charge of pride was also leveled him, although he had been very humble even as emperor – moreover he was, on the contrary, very polite at banquets, very liberal with signing petitions, and very reasonable over cases of personal freedom.” […]

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Taming of a Legendary Horse

“Behind her came a foal, of the same height and breadth of chest and rump as his mother, black eyed and holding his tail high, with black testicles, and iron hooves. His body was a wonder to behold, like saffrom petals, mottled red and gold.” […]

, , , , , , , human-affairs orient genre regions10th-century-ad animals horse hunting legend repost shahnameh
Lust, Jealousy, and Revenge

“Having called in an old Greek woman who was expert in the preparation of poisons, she persuaded her by means of gifts and promises to concoct a lethal potion. And one evening, without giving the matter a second thought, she served this up to Restagnone.” […]

, , , , , , greek-and-roman human-affairs regions genre14th-century-ad crime decameron love mild sex
The Horn of Forgetting

“In addition he went into a coma and immediately lost his memory altogether. He could scarcely remember that he had a name.” […]

, , , , , , , britons_celts supernatural regions genre12th-century-ad gerald-of-wales issues loot miracle music sanity
The Most Famous Last Stand of All

“They attacked harder than every, thrusting at Gisli with their spears until guts spilled out. Gisli gathered the guts up together in his shirt, and bound them with a cord.” […]

, , , , , , , , , , viking violence regions genre13th-century-ad battle death duel eyri gislis-saga honor issues poetry wordplay
Enemies both Foreign and Domestic

“In fact, if I killed you, there are plenty of nobles and politicians in Rome who would thank me for it” […]

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Crabs in a Bucket

“I was seated on the ground, taking in those delicious draughts, my face turned up to heaven, my eyes half closed the better to enjoy the toothsome liquor, when the wicked blind man took his revenge. He raised the jug with both hands, and, with all his might, sent it crashing down on my mouth.” […]

, , , , , , , , , humor western_europe genre regions16th-century-ad author booze class clean cruelty generations lazarillo trickery
Torn Between King and Pope

“It seemed as if we were being tossed about on a wild sea without any oar. Unsure as to what would happen, we were indeed worried and very deeply disturbed.” […]

, , , , , , , , science western_europe genre regions12th-century-ad author emotions governance mild religion repost the-deeds-of-louis-the-fat
Fashion Styles of the Oooold School

“In spite of the fact that you bore me, and his mother only adopted him, his mother loves him, while you, you do not love me!” […]

, , , , , , , human-affairs orient genre regions10th-century-bc class clean clothes family letters-from-mesopotamia repost
The Hairy Men of Ireland

“It had the human shape, however, in every detail, both as to hands and face and feet; but the entire body was covered with hair as the beasts are, and down the back it had a long coarse mane like that of a horse.” […]

, , , , , britons_celts supernatural regions genre13th-century-ad clean humanoid kings-mirror monsters
The World Doesn’t Revolve Around Us

“The universal nature has no external space; but the wondrous part of her art is that though she has circumscribed herself, everything within her which appears to decay and to grow old and to be useless she changes into herself, and again makes other new things from these very same, so that she requires neither substance from without nor wants a place into which she may cast that which decays.” […]

, , , , , greek-and-roman science regions genre2nd-century-ad clean food meditations philosophy
Competing Prayers to Capricious Gods

“Frea gave counsel that the women of the Winnili should take down their hair and arrange it upon the face like a beard, and that in the early morning they should be present with their husbands and in like manner station themselves to be seen by Godan.” […]

, , , , , , , , supernatural western_europe genre regions8th-century-ad clean gender gods hair langobards religion trickery
Men as Women

“He picked out two young men of his acquaintance who had fresh and girlish faces, but eager and manly spirits, and changed their outward appearance almost entirely by giving them warm baths and keeping them out of the sun, by arranging their hair, and by smoothing their skin and beautifying their complexions with unguents.” […]

, , , , human-affairs genre1st-century-ad clean gender plutarch ritual
An Ancient Toast Explained

“Vortigern immediately said the words “drinc hail” and ordered Renwein to drink. Then he took the goblet from her hand, kissed her and drank in his turn.” […]

, , , , , , , britons_celts human-affairs regions genre12th-century-ad booze etiquette geoffrey-of-monmouth issues love repost
The Gift of Nothing

“So he shewed it to the messenger, and the shrewd varlet said to him off hand, ‘Nought is there, and nought shalt thou have! therefore look for nothing!'” […]

, , , , , , history western_europe genre regions12th-century-ad clean diplomacy governance roman-de-rou trickery
A Critique of Style

“Overcoats have sleeves reaching down to the hells
Which you could easily wind three times round your arms.
You could wipe you bottom with them instead of rags
In the toilet without doubt.” […]

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The Vegetarian King of the World

“Often, moreover, even if there was no religious reason, he dined happily on green vegetables and beans, without meat.” […]

, , , , , greek-and-roman history regions genre4th-century-ad augustan-history food issues repost
The Pirate as a Forlorn Lover

“The dashing youth need not have wasted so many words, for the Messinese who were with him, being avid for plunder, already had visions of themselves performing the deed to which Gerbino was inciting them with his oratory. So that when he reached the end of his speech, they filled the air with a thunderous roar of approval, trumpets were sounded, and they all took up their weapons.” […]

, , , , , , greek-and-roman humor regions genre14th-century-ad decameron love mild ocean speech
Apathy for the Damned

“The venerable father and his companions saw how the unhappy man was carried off by a multitude of demons to be tormented and was set on fire among them. He said: ‘Alas for you, my son, that you have received such fate as you have deserved while living.'” […]

, , , , , , , britons_celts science regions genre10th-century-ad demon immram issues religion repost saint-brendan
A Model Viking Wife

“I want to make a deal with you, Aud,” he said. “You tell me where Gisli is and I will give you three hundred pieces of silver, which I have received as the price on his head. In addition, I will arrange a marriage for you that will be superior in every way to this one.” […]

, , , , , , , , human-affairs viking genre regions13th-century-ad eyri gender gislis-saga honor marriage trickery wordplay
Rally Round the Rich

“. They had a force of six thousand cavalry, each of whom had selected from the whole army, for his personal protection, one infantryman of outstanding courage and speed of foot.” […]

, , , , , history western_europe genre regions1st-century-ad conquest-of-gaul issues repost tactics
The Opposite of a Pope

“The romans therefore captured him, held him in prison and, dressing him in a cloak of undressed goatskins reeking with blood, placed this devious antipope, nay antichrist, across the back of that devious animal, the camel.” […]

, , , , , , , science western_europe genre regions12th-century-ad animals humiliation mild repost revenge the-deeds-of-louis-the-fat
Killing on the Battlements

“The Chancellor was in his gown, and besides ancient, and not able to struggle with such a strong fellow. My lord had a little dog with him; said he, “Let us first throw the dog down, and see what sport that will be.” […]

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Ice in Ancient Times

“There is now ice available in Ziranum, much of it. Place your servants there to watch over it so they can keep it safe for you.” […]

, , , , , , , human-affairs orient genre regions20th-century-bc booze clean diplomacy letters-from-mesopotamia luxury repost
The World’s Gone Upside Down

“The site, too, was overturned, so that those parts of the earth which had formerly pointed downwards were now turned upward; and all the houses and halls were turned town into the earth and thus it has been ever since.” […]

, , , , britons_celts regions13th-century-ad clean fool kings-mirror wisdom
The Emperor’s Pet Peeve

“How unsound and insincere is he who says, I have determined to deal with thee in a fair way.- What art thou doing, man? There is no occasion to give this notice.” […]

, , , , , , greek-and-roman human-affairs regions genre2nd-century-ad clean etiquette meditations morality philosophy
Rome: Ghost Town

“And then it visibly appeared to many that a good and a bad angel proceeded by night through the city and as many times as, upon command of the good angel, the bad angel, who appeared to carry a hunting spear in his hand, knocked at the door of each house with the spear, so many men perished from that house on the following day.” […]

, , , , , , greek-and-roman supernatural regions genre8th-century-ad clean demon health langobards places
The Ship of Theseus

“They took away the old timbers from time to time, and put new and sound ones in their places, so that the vessel became a standing illustration for the philosophers in the mooted question of growth, some declaring that it remained the same, others that it was not the same vessel.” […]

, , , , , greek-and-roman science regions genre1st-century-ad clean legend philosophy plutarch
A Pleasure Dome of Great Renown

“In the midst of this enclosed park, where there is a beautiful grove, the Great Khan has built another large palace, constructed entirely of canes, but with the interior all gilt and decorated with beasts and birds of very skillful workmanship. ” […]

, , , , , , history orient genre regions14th-century-ad crafting issues luxury marco-polo repost
Vortigern’s Weakness

“Satan entered his heart, so that the fell in love with Renwein and asked her father to give her to him. I say that Satan entered his heart because, despite the fact that he was a Christian, he was determined to make love with this pagan woman.” […]

, , , , , , britons_celts history regions genre12th-century-ad geoffrey-of-monmouth governance issues repost sex
Soothsayer, Sooth Thyself!

“Poor diviner indeed must he be about me, who could predict nought about himself. If the things to come were known to him, he might well have foreseen his own death.” […]

, , , , , , human-affairs western_europe genre regions12th-century-ad clean death fool prophesy roman-de-rou
Assassination by an Obvious Trap

“And running up she whispered in the king’s ear: ‘I shall reveal to you, my lord, the accomplices of my accursed son who are traitors to you and the manner of their treachery, if you come with me.'” […]

, , , , , , , , britons_celts humor regions genre15th-century-ad fool hunting mild repost revenge scotichronicon trickery
Petty Complaints About the King of the World

“While he was affable in conversation, in reality he was ungenerous and almost mean – to the extent of serving half-portions of lettuce and artichoke at banquets while a private citizen.” […]

, , , , , , greek-and-roman history regions genre4th-century-ad augustan-history feast food issues repost
A World Without Baby Pictures

“They sewed a doll of silk, that was the same height as this lion who had not yet tasted milk, and stuffed it with sable fur. Its face shone like the sun and the evening star.” […]

, , , , , , human-affairs orient genre regions10th-century-ad crafting family issues repost shahnameh
Medieval Magic C-Section

“on’t watch as the sorcerer begins his incantations to bring out this lion from within her body: he will cut open the cypress’s belly, and she will feel no pain. Then, driving all fear and anxiety from your heart, you must sew up the wound where the sorcerer cut her.” […]

, , , , , , , , , orient supernatural regions genre10th-century-ad booze issues magic medicine monsters prophesy repost shahnameh
Full Transparency in Medical Matters

“Realizing that the invalid would be unable to withstand the pain unless he were doped beforehand, the doctor issued a special prescription providing for the distillation of a certain liquid which he intended to administer to the patient in order to put him to sleep for as long as the pain and the operation where likely to last.” […]

, , , , , greek-and-roman science regions genre14th-century-ad decameron drugs medicine mild
Fear the Island of the Smiths

“Even before he had finished speaking, the same savage came to the shore near where they were, carrying a tongs in his hands that held a lump of burning slag of immense size and heat. He immediately threw the lump on top of the servants of Christ, but it did no hurt to them.” […]

, , , , , , , , , , , britons_celts supernatural regions genre10th-century-ad demon humanoid immram issues legend ocean places religion repost saint-brendan
A Bumbling Spy

“At that very moment, Thorgerd returned and Helgi turned round quickly and fell off the partition. Thorgerd asked him what he was doing climbing up the rafters instead of lying still. He said he was so racked with pains in his joints that he could not lie still.” […]

, , , , , , humor viking genre regions13th-century-ad gislis-saga issues manners sleep trickery
Romans on the Rhine

“Our troops attacked with such vigour when the signal was given, and the enemy also dashed forward so suddenly and swiftly, that there was no time to throw spears at them. So the men dropped their spears and fought hand to hand with their swords.” […]

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Beware the Sausage’s Return

“My master got up and took me by the head. Presently he began to smell me, and forcing my mouth open, he put his nose in. It was a long pointed nose.” […]

, , , , , , , humor western_europe genre regions16th-century-ad author body class food gross lazarillo
A Just Castration

“Caught taking part in this terrible ploy, he was mercifully condemned to losing his eyes and genitals when he deserved to be choked to death by a noose.” […]

, , , , , , , , violence western_europe genre regions12th-century-ad gore governance honor justice mild repost the-deeds-of-louis-the-fat
Brats are Eternal

“I want it very much; do not withhold it from me. In this I will see whether you love me as a real father does.” […]

, , , , , , , human-affairs orient genre regionsclean family generations letters-from-mesopotamia loot luxury repost
Respect Thy Elders

“It is always a great comfort to me that I shall leave much wealth for my own true son to enjoy after my days but should scarcely regard him as a son, though I had begotten him, if he were a fool.” […]

, , , , , , , , human-affairs viking genre regions13th-century-ad clean etiquette family generations kings-mirror manners wisdom
What Will People Say When You Die?

“There is no man so fortunate that there shall not be by him when he is dying some who are pleased with what is going to happen.” […]

, , , , , greek-and-roman science regions genre2nd-century-ad clean death meditations philosophy
God Speaks in Mysterious Ways

“While king Cunincpert was taking counsel in what way he might deprive Aldo and Grauso of life, suddenly in the window near which they were standing sat a fly of the largest kind which when Cunincpert attempted to strike with his knife to kill it, he only cut off its foot.” […]

, , , , , , , supernatural western_europe genre regions8th-century-ad animals clean langobards miracle prophesy transformation
The Death of Theseus

“But Lycomedes, either because he feared a man of such fame, or as a favour to Menestheus, led him up to the high places of the land, on pretence of showing him from thence his lands, threw him down the cliffs, and killed him. Some, however, say that he slipped and fell down of himself while walking there after supper, as was his custom.” […]

, , , , , , greek-and-roman history regions genre1st-century-ad burial celebrity clean death plutarch
Vortigern’s Dying Wish

“Renwein collected all the information she could about noxious poisons and then, by the hands of one of his servants whom she had first corrupted with innumerable bribes, she gave Vortimer a poison to drink.” […]

, , , , , , , , britons_celts humor regions genre12th-century-ad burial celebrity death geoffrey-of-monmouth issues repost trickery
An Awkward Arrival

“Then one of his men ran forward and put his hand on a hut, and took a handful of the thatch, and turned to the duke, saying heartily, ‘Sire, come forward and receive this.'” […]

, , , , , , britons_celts humor regions genre12th-century-ad clean fool humiliation prophesy roman-de-rou
Omens Are Everywhere

“Another time, when he was sleeping in a tavern, a snake wound itself round his head, and when his friends were alarmed and shouted out, the creature went away without harming him.” […]

, , , , , greek-and-roman supernatural regions genre4th-century-ad augustan-history issues prophesy repost
An Emperor and Gladiator

“For such things as these, to be sure, he was strong enough, but otherwise he was weak and feeble, even having something wrong with him in the groin, which stuck out so much that the Roman people could detect the swelling through his silk clothing. Many verses were written on this subject. ” […]

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A Horse is a Horse of Course of Course

“He slept again, and again the dragon emerged from the dark. Rakhsh stamped on Rostam’s pillow and pawed at the ground, and once more Rostam woke. He sprang up, his face sallow with apprehension, and gazed about him, but he saw nothing except the darkness. He said to his kind, wise horse, “You should sleep in the night’s darkness, but you keep waking me up; why are you in such a hurry for me to be awake? If you disturb me again like this, I’ll cut off your feet with my sword. I’ll go on foot, dragging my lance and heavy mace to Mazanderan.” […]

, , , , , , , , , humor orient genre regions10th-century-ad animals horse issues monsters repost shahnameh sleep weapons
Dying Pointlessly is the Best Revenge

“So the young man lay down at her side without attempting to touch her, and, concentrating his thoughts on his long love for her, on her present coldness towards him, and on the dashing of his hopes, he resolved not to go on living.” […]

, , , , , greek-and-roman human-affairs regions genre14th-century-ad decameron honor humiliation mild
Gryphon Vs. Simurgh

“The bird stretched her talons to seize the servants of God. Just then, suddenly, the bird which on the earlier occasion brought them the branch with the fruits, flew swiftly up to the Gryphon, which immediately made to devour her. But that bird defended herself until she overcame and tore out the eyes of the Gryphon.” […]

, , , , , , , , , britons_celts supernatural regions genre10th-century-ad animals immram issues miracle monsters religion repost saint-brendan
A Shrew Saves the Day

” They continued to search the place even so, but not as carefully as they might have done if they had not had to suffer such a torrent of abuse from the farmer’s wife. Having found nothing, they left and wished the farmer well.” […]

, , , , , , humor genre13th-century-ad eyri gender gislis-saga issues marriage trickery
On the Topic of Opium

“For my own part, however, I do not approve of opium entering into the composition of eye-salves, and still less of the preparations from it known as febrifuges, digestives, and cœliacs: the black poppy, however, is very generally prescribed, in wine, for cœliac affections.” […]

, , , , , , , greek-and-roman science regions genre1st-century-ad drugs garden issues medicine pliny repost
A Scholar and a Prankster

“Sir Thomas Moore’s discourse was extraordinarily facetious. Riding one night, upon the sudden, he crossed himself with a great cross, crying out, “Jesu Maria! Do you not see that prodigious dragon in the sky?”” […]

, , , , , , , britons_celts history regions genre17th-century-ad aubrey celebrity clean fool monsters trickery
The Peasants Push Back

“Suddenly the king’s men cast off their cloaks and unsheathed their swords, but the villagers, seeing what was coming, surged forward vehemently with their weapons.” […]

, , , , , history western_europe genre regions12th-century-ad class mild repost the-deeds-of-louis-the-fat
Pleeease Give me More Gold?

“Indeed if there is much gold (in Egypt), do send me as much as your fathers did. In case there is little gold, send me half of what your fathers did, but why in the world did you send only two pounds of gold to me?” […]

, , , , , humor orient genre regions14th-century-bc clean diplomacy letters-from-mesopotamia toughness
The Bodies Keep Piling Up

THE SCENE: In this passage, King Hakon IV of Norway describes to his son the …

, , , , , britons_celts supernatural regions genre13th-century-ad clean kings-mirror places revenant
Serenity in All Things

“If, then, it happens to thee in such way as thou art formed by nature to bear it, do not complain, but bear it as thou art formed by nature to bear it. But if it happens in such wise as thou art not formed by nature to bear it, do not complain, for it will perish after it has consumed thee.” […]

, , , , , greek-and-roman science regions genre2nd-century-ad clean meditations philosophy toughness
Champion Level Pettiness

“Since he had offended king Cunincpert while they were conversing at a banquet, the king commanded to be prepared for him when he was returning to his inn a fierce and untamed horse who was accustomed to dash to the earth with a great snorting those who sat upon him.” […]

, , , , , , science western_europe genre regions8th-century-ad animals clean horse langobards revenge
Theseus and the Women

“This man called his wife Phersephone, his daughter Cora, and his dog Cerberus, with which beast he ordered that all suitors of his daughter should fight, promising her to him that should overcome it.” […]

, , , , , , greek-and-roman history regions genre1st-century-ad celebrity clean evil gender plutarch
Marriage in the Afterlife

“They give the dead girl to the dead boy as a wife and draw up a deed of matrimony. Then they burn this deed, and declare that the smoke that rises into the air goes to their children in the other world and that they get wind of it and regard themselves as husband and wife.” […]

, , , , , , , , , human-affairs orient genre regions14th-century-ad afterlife death family issues marco-polo marriage repost ritual
A Legendary Betrayal

“The moment they heard this signal the Saxons drew their daggers, attacking the leaders standing near them and cut the throats of about four hundred and sixty counts and earls, who were thinking of something quite different.” […]

, , , , , , , britons_celts violence regions genre12th-century-ad crime evil geoffrey-of-monmouth issues legend repost
A King Weighs His Options

‘But Harold refused, and said that Ourth should not go against the duke and fight without him; and that he would not burn houses and villages, neither would he plunder his people. “How,” said he, “can I injure the people I should govern? I cannot destroy or harass those who ought to prosper under me.”‘ […]

, , , , , , britons_celts history regions genre12th-century-ad clean family kindness roman-de-rou wisdom
Accept the Way Things Are

” But as to what any man shall say or think about him or do against him, he never even thinks of it, being himself contented with these two things, with acting justly in what he now does, and being satisfied with what is now assigned to him.” […]

, , , , greek-and-roman science regions genre2nd-century-ad clean meditations philosophy
Honor Before Loyalty, Victory, and Good Sense

“May God so will that you and I, duke Ferdulf, may not depart from this life until others know which of us is the greater coward.” […]

, , , , , history western_europe genre regions8th-century-ad battle clean honor langobards
The Downsides of Kingship

At night he entered the bed-chamber, and beheld a very superb couch, full of sharp razors. “What!” exclaimed he, “am I to sleep in this bed?” “Even so, my lord,” replied the attendants; “for in this bed all our kings have laid, and have perished.” […]

, , , , , , , , greek-and-roman human-affairs regions genre13th-century-ad animals clean evil gesta-romanorum governance repost wisdom
A Mermaid and Her Son

“He came back to his ship, got a wind, and sailed out to sea. When he was far from land, the same mermaid came up. She took hold of the bow of his ship, and she held onto the ship so that it went nowhere.” […]

, , , , , , , , supernatural western_europe genre regions15th-century-ad didrik-of-bern family gender humanoid issues monsters repost
Boys and their Birds

“He acquiesced; and the lady, after salutation, requested him to let her touch the bird. No sooner was it in her possession, than she wrenched its head from the body.” […]

, , , , , , greek-and-roman human-affairs regions genreanimals entertainment evil love luxury sport
The Breath of a Roman

“Nature has willed that only in man is the breath made bad in several different ways, namely by tainted food, decaying teeth, and most of all by old age.” […]

, , , , , , , greek-and-roman human-affairs regions genre1st-century-ad body gross hygene issues pliny repost
The Land of Beer Abundance

It is told about this spring, or the water flowing from it, that it tastes exactly like ale and is very abundant. It is also said that if drunk to excess, it goes into one’s head.” […]

, , , , , , science viking genre regions13th-century-ad booze clean kings-mirror repost science
Priorities Clarified

“While Bevis was carrying out his responsibilities one day, the king’s son, like the fool that he was, went to the stables and attempted to untie Arundel. The horse kicked him so hard with a back hoof that the young man’s brains were splattered against the stable wall.” […]

, , , , , , , britons_celts violence regions genre13th-century-ad animals bevis family horse justice mild
Earning a Seat at the Table

“The king had ordered them not to fight back. So I grabbed hold of Bodvar and braced my feet against the footboard. I hunched my shoulders and strained with my arms. I tried then with all my strength, but he sat perfectly still and there was no way I could budge him.” […]

, , , , , , , human-affairs viking genre regions14th-century-ad celebrity feast governance manners mild tale-of-toki-tokason
A Cloak of Fishscales Sparks a War

“Clad in this kind of garment, he secretly entered the magnates’ bedrooms by night in the form of an angel and amazingly deluded their sense or rather their understanding, wide-awake as they were.” […]

, , , , , , , britons_celts humor regions genre15th-century-ad governance legend mild repost scotichronicon trickery
The Decency of Crooks

After the battle, Thrandur proposed that they should kill the boys, Sigmundur and Thorir.
“I’m not going to kill them,” replied Bjarni evenly.
Thrandur frowned, “If they go free, someday these boys will be the death of nearly every man here.”
Bjarni answered, “I wouldn’t kill them any more than I would kill myself.” […]

, , , , , , human-affairs viking genre regions13th-century-ad crime family faroe-island-saga honor mild
The Ugly Birth of All Things

Heaven rejoiced in his evil doing. But vast Earth groaned within, being straitened, and she made the element of grey flint and shaped a great sickle, and told her plan to her dear sons. […]

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An Elizabethan Bully

“One time at a tavern Sir Walter Raleigh beat him and sealed up his mouth (i.e. his upper and nether beard) with hard wax.” […]

, , , , , , britons_celts history regions genre17th-century-ad aubrey celebrity clean evil manners
In the Belly of the Metaphorical Whale

“At this time an old woman came in and dressed my wound. Then the neighbours began to take off the bandages. They rejoiced when they saw that I had recovered my senses and began to laugh over my misfortunes while I, as the sinner, mourned over them.” […]

, , , , , , , human-affairs western_europe genre regions16th-century-ad clean cruelty food justice lazarillo trickery
A Retreat Becomes a Rout

“Thus our troops were able, without any risk, to kill as many of them as there was time to kill.” […]

, , , , , , , , , greek-and-roman history regions genre1st-century-ad author battle celebrity conquest-of-gaul fool issues repost tactics
The Crystal Tower

“A pillar in the sea appeared to them that seemed to be not far distant. Still it took them three days to come up to it. It was higher than the sky. THE TEXT: One day when they had celebrated their Masses, a pillar in the sea appeared to them that seemed to be not far distant. Still it took them three days to come up to it. When the man of God approached it, he tried to see the top of it – but he could not, it was so high. It was higher than the sky. Moreover a wide-meshed net was wrapped around it. The mesh was so wide that the boat could pass through its opening. They could not decide of what substance the net was made. It had the colour of silver, but they thought that that it seemed harder than marble. The pillar was of bright crystal.” […]

, , , , , , , , britons_celts supernatural regions genre10th-century-ad immram issues legend loot places repost saint-brendan
The Prettiest Barbarian

“They bestowed the kingdom of the Visigoths on Athavulf his kinsman, a man of imposing beauty and great spirit; for though not tall of stature, he was distinguished for beauty of face and form.” […]

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The Knight Who Wouldn’t Shut Up

“My helmet is all gilded. My armour is also laid with gold. There have never been more hold and precious stones on a shield than there are on mine.” […]

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The Ghosts of Iceland

“These spectres make those who are ignorant of their death receive them as though they were alive and offer their right hands; nor is the mistake detected before the shades have vanished.” […]

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A Dog’s Reward

“In appreciation of what had happened and as a mark of favour to the dog, which had almost died of starvation, the English, who nevertheless hated the Welsh, had the corpse buried with all due ceremony.” […]

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The Clothes Make the Man

“The King ordained that his dress, for the time to come, should he of a different texture and colour; one side to be composed of the most ordinary materials, and the other of the most valuable : so that when he looked upon the baser portion, his pride might be abated, and the vicious propensities, in which he had indulged, relinquished; on the other hand, when he surveyed the more gorgeous part, his hopes might be raised, and his spirit animated to goodness.” […]

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Hamlet’s Viking Funeral

“O valiant Amleth, and worthy of immortal fame, who being shrewdly armed with a feint of folly, covered a wisdom too high for human wit under a marvellous disguise of silliness!” […]

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The Governance of Bees

“The general bee population shows a remarkable obedience to her. When she sets out, the whole swarm goes too, and the groups round her, encircling and protecting her, and not allowing anyone to see her. At other times, when the bees are at work, she goes round all the works inside, like someone offering encouragement, while she alone is free from any duties.” […]

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Single Combat with Honor

“Their shields were split and broken, their coats of chainmail torn and damaged. They turned their horses around and rushed at each other again.” […]

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Confessions of a Nun

“Then Gudrun said, “I was worst to the one I loved the most.”“I think,” said Bolli, “that the truth has now been told.”” […]

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Live Free or Die: Unicorn Edition

“It can be killed but never subdued alive. And if ever by the exertion of hunters it happens to be taken alive, it immediately dies.” […]

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Pirate v. Pirate in the Far North

“Here Sigmundur showed his skill; he tossed his sword with a flourish aloft and he caught it with his left hand, holding his shield in his right. He slashed at Randver with his sword and cut his right leg clear off below the knee. Randver pitched over, and Sigmundur gave him a blow to the neck which severed off his head.” […]

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Night, Whom Even the Deathless Gods Fear

“And there, all in their order, are the sources and ends of gloomy earth and misty Tartarus and the unfruitful sea and starry heaven, loathsome and dank, which even the gods abhor.” […]

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The Beauty of a Giant

“Sir Walter Raleigh ordered him to carry up the first dish at dinner, where the queen beheld him with admiration, as if a beautiful young giant had stalked in with the service.” […]

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The Chains of Etiquette

“You are only a boy,” he replied, “and cannot understand the things appertaining to honor in which, at the present time, is all the wealth of respectable people. You must remember that I am, as you know, an esquire. I swear to God that if I met a count in the street and he did not salute me, I would not salute him if I met him again.” […]

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Insults from the Battlements

“Did those pygmy Romans, they asked, wither their feeble hands and muscles, imagine that they could mount such a heavy tower on top of a wall?” […]

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A Dream Mistress of Great Power

‘Then she handed me a sword with a highly polished hilt.
“Wield this weapon of mine,” said the woman,
“Much blood has been spilt at the bite of its blade,
And as you slash and swish it will serve you unswaveringly.”’ […]

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The Punishment of Judas

“When I am sitting here I feel as if I were in a paradise of delights in contrast with my fear of the torments that lie before me this evening. For I burn, like a lump of molten lead in a pot, day and night. But here I have a place of refreshment every Sunday from evening to evening, at Christmas until the Epiphany, at Easter until Pentecost, and on the feasts of the purification and assumption of the mother of God. After and before these feasts I am tortured in the depths of Hell.” […]

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A Duel By Night

“I would rather die here and now than let the 9 king’s daughters or their mother see me bound, and after that be insulted by all ladies and maidens as long as I live.” […]

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The Dangerous World of Ice-Skating

“You are never in greater peril or nearer to death than when you set off skating while the ice is covered with even the thinnest layer of snow.” […]

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A Self-Proclaimed Master

“They are surprised that, from all the great and striking subjects which the world can offer, I choose to extol in my writings and to adorn with all the flowers of my rhetoric those rugged countries.” […]

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The Paradise of Fools

“The fools, of course, believing it to be Paradise, while they themselves were the chosen and happy possessors of the land, gave not another thought to the future. The consequence was that, one night, finding them asleep, the magician cut them off; and thus, through the instrumentality of a factitious Eden, perpetrated the foulest enormities.” […]

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The Off-Key Emperor

THE SCENE: Being the most powerful person in the land doesn’t insulate you from criticism, …

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The Scandalous Empress

“Messalina, the wife of Claudius Ceasar, thinking it would be a royal triumph, chose to compete against a certain notorious prostitute.” […]

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Alien, Airship, or Mass Hallucinations?

“They saw a ship with men on board floating before the anchor cable; and soon they saw a man leap overboard and dive down to the anchor as if to release it. The movements of his hands and feet and all his actions appeared like those of a man swimming in the water.” […]

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Bevis the Boar Killer

“As soon as the boar saw Bevis, its bristles stood on end. It looked at him with piercing eyes as though imagining how pleasant it might be to swallow him whole, then opened its mouth and gave out an almighty snarl.” […]

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A Righteous Fury

“Vigdis raised the purse and struck him on the nose with it, drawing blood; she accompanied this with a stream of derisive words, adding that he would never get the money back, and told him to clear off.” […]

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The Conscience of an Assassin

“Then after she had drained the lethal draught she immediately began: “But that witch’s potion ought not to suffice as full atonement for me who committed such a great crime. No! rather should I be tied to the tails of horses and dragged off to be hanged and this unspeakable body should be burnt to ashes in fires of thorns and the ashes scattered to the wind.” […]

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Farmers vs. Vikings

“Sigmundur cut his way forward easily, fighting with a two-handed sword. When he came upon Bjorn’s standard-bearer, he dispatched the man with a lethal blow. He called to his men to break their shield formation when he saw Bjorn himself directly ahead.” […]

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The Queen of Monsters

“The goddess fierce Echidna who is half a nymph with glancing eyes and fair cheeks, and half again a huge snake, great and awful, with speckled skin, eats raw flesh beneath the secret parts of the holy earth.” […]

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The Son Strikes Back

“I, this morning, not having the fear of God before my eyes but by the instigation of the devil, went to a whore.” […]

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Working is Hard to Stomach

“Such lords do not want to see virtuous men in their houses. On the contrary, they hate and despise them, calling them useless and unacquainted with business. I do not wish to trust my fortunes with such people.” […]

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The Mercy of Caesar

“t. But the enemy clearly had a preconcerted plan. They equipped themselves with arms that they had hidden, or with shields made of bark or wickerwork, and soon after midnight their whole force suddenly made a sortie at the point where our fortifications appeared easiest to scale.” […]

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The Magic of Music

“When the fish heard him singing, they came up from the bottom and began to swim in a circle round the boat – in such a way that the brothers could not see beyond the fish anywhere, so great was the multitude of the different fishes swimming.” […]

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Doomed to the Dance of Lust

“This nocturnal play of supernatural being the natives call ‘the dance of the elves’, and this is their belief about them: that the souls of people who devote themselves to bodily pleasures (becoming as it were their servants), giving way to the incitements of their lusts and profaning the laws of God and man, assume corporeal form and are whirled about the earth.” […]

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A Taste of Welsh Kindness

“Here are two things worth remembering: the Irish are the most jealous people on earth, but the Welsh do not seem to know what jealousy is; and in every Welsh court or family the menfolk consider playing on the harp to be the greatest of accomplishments.” […]

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What Makes a Man Turn Neutral?

“We wander through various regions of the air and the firmament and the earth, just like the other spirits that travel on their missions. But on holy days and Sundays we are given bodies such as you now see so that we may stay here and praise our creator.” […]

, , , , , , , britons_celts supernatural regions genre10th-century-ad animals immram issues justice religion saint-brendan
Caesar and the Ghost

“When Caesar had concluded the campaign he turned towards Rome, marching with his forces across a river, distinguished by the name of Rubicon. Here a phantom of immense stature, standing in the middle of the water, opposed his passage.” […]

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The Origin of Inspiration

“Unwearying flows the sweet sound from their lips, and the house of their father Zeus the loud-thunderer is glad at the lily-like voice of the goddesses as it spread abroad, and the peaks of snowy Olympus resound, and the homes of the immortals.” […]

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Unsatisfactory Mating

“All other animals derive satisfaction from having mated; man gets almost none.” […]

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Theseus and the Labyrinth

“When he reached Crete on his voyage, most historians and poets tells us that he got from Ariadne, who had fallen in love with him, the famous thread, and that having been instructed by her how to make his way through the intricacies of the Labyrinth, he slew the Minotaur and sailed off with Ariadne and the youths.” […]

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Bevis Rules the Day

“Bevis and his contingent killed sixty-thousand that day; they had all come from Damascus, but they never returned home.” […]

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The Coldest of Counsel

“You are remarkably unlike your noble kinsmen if you don’t want to avenge such a brother as Kjartan was. Your grandfather, Egil Skalla-Grimsson, would never have behaved like this. It is cruel to have such craven sons; and I for one believe it would have suited you better to have been your father’s daughters and been married off.” […]

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The Dog of War

” While the dogs were unleashed and they were running about in all directions chasing wild beasts for about the length of a day, a certain hound, which used to follow the scent on the tracks of the beasts, was stolen away by the Picts, and was immediately discovered in their possession.” […]

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Bonds Forged Through Battle

“The next day, Haraldur called over to Sigmundur’s ship to ask if they wanted to fight again. Sigmundur answered that he had no reason to consider anything else.” […]

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Tales of Lesser-Known Gods

“For so did Styx the deathless daughter of Ocean plan on that day when the Olympian Lightener called all the deathless gods to great Olympus, and said that whosoever of the gods would fight with him against the Titans, he would not cast him out from his rights, but each should have the office which he had before amongst the deathless gods.” […]

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A Blessing for a Canary Artist

“The king was mighty inquisitive to know who this Raeph was. Ben told him ‘twas the artist at the Swan tavern, by Charing Cross, who drew him a good canary.” […]

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Enemy to the Human Race?

“ere was no remedy, for if on the days of the funerals I lived, on the days when no one died I was starving, and I felt it all the more. So that there seemed to be no rest for me but in death, and I often desired it for myself, as well as for others.” […]

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A Society Built on War

“Their diet, daily exercise, and the freedom from restraint that they enjoy – for from childhood they do not know what compulsion or discipline is, and do nothing against their inclination – combine to make them strong and as tall as giants.” […]

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Too Quick to Kill

“Fearful of awakening her, he softly entered the apartment and – perceiving two persons in bed – instantly concluded that his wife was disloyal. Without a moment’s pause, he unsheathed his sabre, and slew both.” […]

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Divine Parricide

hese great Cronos swallowed as each came forth from the womb to his mother’s knees with this intent, so that no other of the proud sons of Heaven should hold the kingly office amongst the deathless gods. […]

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Vinegar the Miracle Drink

“A gargle of vinegar and water helps in heat exhaustion, and the same mixture is a very good restorative for the eyes when used as a fomentation.” […]

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Meet the Mer-MAN

“This monster is tall and of great size and rises straight out of the water. It appears to have shoulders, neck and head, eyes and mouth, and nose and chin like those of a human being; but above the eyes and the eyebrows it looks more like a man with a peaked helmet on his head.” […]

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Three Knights Versus the City of London

“The fighting was so fierce that the gutters of every street ran with blood. So many men lay dead that the waters of the Thames turned the colour of blood.” […]

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Beware the Advice of Raving Hermits

“For your part, you are to remember to threaten him with the imminent loss of his life and his fall from the throne, unless he choose of his own free will to embrace the dogma of the emperor Leo the Isaurian and to cast out the idols.” […]

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Origins of a Sacred Stone

“If destiny deceives not, the Scots will reign ‘tis said
In that same place where the stone has been laid.” […]

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The Bloody Poetry Rushes Forth

“A warm, foamy stream of Danish blood, squeezed from their veins, gathers in waves to form broad lakes, an inundation which rolls the scattered corpses.” […]

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The Fate of Prometheus

“And ready-witted Prometheus he bound with inextricable bonds, cruel chains, and drove a shaft through his middle, and set on him a long- winged eagle, which used to eat his immortal liver; but by night the liver grew as much again everyway as the long-winged bird devoured in the whole day. ” […]

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Curiosity Killed the Bacon

“They alighted out of the coach, and went into a woman woman’s house at the bottom of Highgate Hill, and bought a hen, and make the woman exenterate [disembowel] it, and then stuff the body with snow.” […]

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A Bad Life Gets Worse

“At that time a blind man came to lodge at the inn, who, seeing that I would do to lead him, asked for me from my mother. She gave me to him, saying that I was the son of a good father, and boasting that he had been killed at the Island of Gelves.” […]

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Chariot of the Britons

“Thus they combine the mobility of cavalry with the staying power of infantry; and by daily training and practice they attain such proficiency that even on a steep incline they are able to control the horses at full gallop, and to check and turn them in a moment.” […]

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Saint Brendan and the Kaiju

“After these three pleas asking for deliverance, a mighty monster passed near them from the west going to encounter the beast. He immediately attacked the first monster, emitting fire from his mouth.” […]

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The Dead Rise

“Sigrid answered, ‘I won’t go out with things as they are! All of those who are dead are standing there before the door; among them I recognize your husband Thorstein and myself as well. How horrible to see it!'” […]

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Dishonored

“And he said to Heym: ‘I would just as readily have a woman’s help as yours, for you were bad to me. We were fighting 2 against 5, and you stood by and watched, and would not help us. When I see you rewarded for this, it will not be forgotten.'” […]

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Deliver us from Gilbert

“It was done like this: a small staff, engraved with certain Gothic characters, was thrown towards him by his master, and when Gilbert caught it in his hands he remained fettered and unable to move. Nor could he free himself when he applied his teeth to it, for it was as if they were stuck together with an adhesive pitch, nor with his feet when, on the crafty advice of his master, he tried to use them.” […]

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Welsh Birth Control

“It is also said that if a couple come to have intercourse on this spot, or nearby, which they do frequently, great drops of sweat drip from the stone.” […]

, , , , , , , britons_celts supernatural regions genre12th-century-ad gerald-of-wales issues magic places repost sex
Playing with a Horse’s “Dangler”

“As the slave cut off the horse’s member, and was about to throw it away, the farmer’s son ran by laughing, caught it, and took it into the parlour. There, his mother was sitting, accompanied by her daughter and the slave-woman. He shook the phallus at them, shouting mocking remarks.” […]

, , , , , , , , , humor viking genre regions14th-century-ad horse mild ritual sex tale-of-volsi viks vulgarity wordplay
Eternal Sunshine of the Emperors Mind

“The emperor, therefore, in this dilemma, constructed two rings; and upon the jewels with which they were richly ornamented, he sculptured images possessing very singular virtues. One bore an effigy of Memory; and the other an effigy of Oblivion.” […]

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The Fall of Grettir and Illugi

“Grettir swung his short-sword at Hjalti Thordarson’s follower Vikar, striking him on the left shoulder as he jumped down into the hut and cutting right through his shoulders and down his right side. The man was chopped clean in half and his body fell on top of Grettir in two pieces.” […]

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An Appetite For Revenge

‘“That which you have eaten,” replied the knight, “was in fact the heart of Guillaume de Cabestanh, with whom you, faithless woman that you are, were so infatuated.’ […]

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Royal Brothers Bicker

“Thus Harold and Gurth disputed, till their words grew angry, and Gurth would have struck his brother, had he not spurred his horse on, so that the blow missed, and struck the horse behind the saddle, glancing along Harold’s shield. ” […]

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Profile of a Victorious Army

“They have trained their horses so well that they wheel this way or that as quickly as a dog would do. When they are pursued and take to flight, they fight as well and as effectively as when they are face to face with the enemy.” […]

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Rostam Suffers No Fools

“You know what I call a mother who bears a son like you? A sewer of shrouds, or a mourner at a wake. Bringing your cronies here against me is as pointless as throwing walnuts at a dome in the hope that they’ll stick there.” […]

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The King Has Joined the Fight

“When Rothari found out that he was detected, he straightway leaped backwards and unsheathed his sword to strike the king. On the other hand the king drew forth his own sword from his scabbard.” […]

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A Fine Tale Quickly Told

“Bjorn gave Ari a choice: either he fight him on the island of Stokkaholm in Surnadal or hand over his wife, Ingibjorg.” […]

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O, That This Too Solid Flesh Would Melt

” After making his will he did in fact attempt to kill himself again; when the dagger was taken from him he became more violent. He sought poison from a doctor, who killed himself to avoid giving it.” […]

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Arthur’s Wrath

“He made worthy widows wail with sorrow,
Weeping and howling they wrung their hands.
And everywhere in his wake he wasted through war
Their wealth and their houses, and awoke their woe.” […]

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Power of a Portly King

“The king mounted someone else’s horse and returned to combat in a spirited fashion. He shouted and called his men back, urging the boldest by name not to flee. With sword unsheathed the king rushed amid the enemy ranks to help those whom he could and chose those who were fleeing.” […]

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Glory or Family

“Then they wished their father and mother a good life and set off on their way, journeying until they reached King Hrolf.” […]

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The Power of a Song

“They bore harps and were clad in snowy robes, and chanted in suppliant strains to the gods of their fathers that they might be propitious and repel the Macedonians.” […]

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Four Against One and To the Death

“The sword that he bore cut armor and helmets as easily as birch bark, and did not spare the bones or flesh of men.” […]

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A Cow-Powered Threat

“They had great faith in a certain cow, and they called her Sibilja. She received so many sacrifices that men could now withstand her bellowing. It was the king’s custom, when an invasion was expected, that this very same cow went in front of the ranks.” […]

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A Retort for an Assassin

“Gizur said: ‘A great chieftain have we laid low now, and it has cost us dear, and his defence will be remembered as long as men live in this land!'” […]

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To The Lazy Goes the Spoils

“Then,” answered the elder, “the kingdom must be mine; for I am so lazy, that sitting once by the fire, I burnt my legs, because I was too indolent to withdraw them.” […]

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Pursued to the Ends of the Earth

“Dromund took hold of the sword and immediately wielded it and struck at Hook. The blow hit him on the head with such force that it sank down to his jaws. Hook dropped down dead to the ground, ignobly.” […]

, , , , , , viking violence regions genre14th-century-ad crime grettir issues justice revenge
The Renaissance Don as a Loving Father

“My daughter, it was always my dearest wish that you should marry a man whom I considered worthy of you; and if you did indeed choose such a man, and he was pleasing to you, then I could have wished for nothing better.” […]

, , , , , , , , greek-and-roman human-affairs regions genre14th-century-ad decameron emotion family gender generations kindness mild
The Army William Made

“he archers came forth, and touched land the foremost; each with his bow bent, and his quiver full of arrows slung at his side. All were shaven and shorn, and all clad in short garments, ready to attack, to shoot, to wheel about and skirmish. All stood well equipped, and of good courage for the fight.” […]

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The Desert’s Lethal Defenses

“Next morning, when they were on the point of setting out, the hot wind came down on them and stifled them all, so that not one survived to carry back the news to their lord.” […]

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A Massacre of Demons

“He grabbed him by the head and ears, and holding on to his shoulders with his other hand tore the demon’s head off, like a ravening lion, and flung it covered in blood into the crowd of warriors.” […]

, , , , , , , orient supernatural regions genre10th-century-ad demon gore heroics repost shahnameh weapons
Death by Stupidity

“The young man took it, turned to one side, unfastened the peace straps and drew the sword. When Thorkel saw that he said, “I did not give you permission to draw the sword.”
“I did not ask your permission,” said the lad.” […]

, , , , , , , viking violence regions genre13th-century-ad crime eyri gislis-saga issues repost trickery
The Revenge of Gawain

“Then he rode into the host, hacking through helmets,
Riving off rivets and ripping through shields,
Causing carnage in the ranks but keeping his course,
Rampaging through the rearguard and riding onward,
Then reigning back, that right royal battler,
And returning to the ranks of his own Round Table.” […]

, , , , , , , , britons_celts violence regions genre15th-century-ad alliterative-morte-darthur battle celebrity emotion gore honor issues
A Challenge from King to King

“Some of them shouted out and jokingly suggested that the kings do battle on that flimsy bridge which would immediately tumble down; and being both reckless and brave, King Louis was eager to do this.” […]

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A Deadly Dinner

“Go to the field of Asfeld and there you can find by experience beyond a doubt how stoutly those you call mares succeed in kicking; there the bones of your brother are scattered in the midst of the meadows like those of a vile beast.” […]

, , , , , , , , history western_europe genre regions8th-century-ad clean feast food governance honor langobards wordplay
Code of Violence

“Frodi invited him to remain there, offering him a half-share of everything. But Bodvar declined. He thought it wrong to kill people for their wealth, and so he prepared to leave.” […]

, , , , , , , viking violence regions genre14th-century-ad family honor hrolf-kraki issues outlaw repost
The Sword of the God of War

“He rejoiced at this gift and, being ambitious, thought he had been appointed ruler of the whole world, and that through the sword of Mars supremacy in all wars was assured to him.” […]

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The Beauty of Honor

“He stretched forth his hand, and they were quite red and rather darkened from blood and the cuts of weapons, but when he pulled back his sleeves, they were laden with gold rings up to his shoulders.” […]

, , , , , , , , human-affairs viking genre regions14th-century-ad asmund-the-champion-slayer beauty honor love marriage mild viks
A God Moves On

“It is maintained that many Egyptians as well as Greek foreigners, panic-stricken, not through fear of man only, but rather by dread of the gods, fled far from Egypt and their native country. Seeing the terrible plagues and wonders with which they had been afflicted, through Moses, they feared exceedingly, neither durst they remain there longer.” […]

, , , , , , , , greek-and-roman supernatural regions genre14th-century-ad booze gods john-of-fordun legend mild places repost
The Cuckold’s Ultimatum

“Now do one of two things: you kill him, or I’ll take him for my own husband and we’ll drive you away. He spoke seductively to me.” […]

, , , , , , , , , human-affairs viking genre regions13th-century-ad crime etiquette evil marriage mild murder regnar sex
The Medieval Legal Mind

“But if this suit is tried at the Assembly and an objection is raised on the score that you gave Thorgeir the first blow, and therefore may plead neither your own suit nor that of others, then I shall answer this point by saying that I declared you inviolable at the Thingskalar Assembly.” […]

, , , , , , science viking genre regions13th-century-ad justice mild njal trickery wordplay
Lives in the Hands of Gods

“Lunging at Paris, he grabbed his horsehair crest, swung him round, started to drag him into Argive lines and now the braided chin-strap holding his helmet tight was gouging his soft throat – Paris was choking, strangling.” […]

, , , , , , , greek-and-roman supernatural regions genre8th-century-bc battle celebrity gods homer issues repost
The Reverse Trojan Horse Maneuver

“He knew that his opponents were hunger-starved and gluttonous; and that, overjoyed to find such excellent quarters, they would drink to excess, and fall into a death-like sleep.” […]

, , , , , , , , greek-and-roman humor regions genre13th-century-ad booze clean drugs gesta-romanorum repost revenge trickery
Who’s Been Singing in My Bed?

“Her husband replied, ‘It’s about time that you reveal the sort of woman that you really are. Where is the man whose voice was booming just now? I expect you think he sounds better than I do.'” […]

, , , , , , , human-affairs viking genre regions14th-century-ad grettir issues marriage music sex trickery
A Dream of Death; a Life of Sorrow

“Gabriotto did not reply, but simply lay there gasping for breath and perspiring all over, and shortly thereafter he gave up the ghost.” […]

, , , , , , greek-and-roman human-affairs regions genre14th-century-ad death decameron dreams emotion mild
The Humiliation of a King

“They see the Normans meanwhile pressing on from behind, but there was no escape; they go along the banks of the river, seeking for fords and crossings, throwing away their arms and plunder, and cursing their having brought so much. They go straggling and stumbling over the ditches, helping each other forward, the Normans pursuing and sparing no one, till all those who had not crossed the bridge were either taken prisoners, killed, or drowned.” […]

, , , , , , , history western_europe genre regions12th-century-ad battle clean governance honor roman-de-rou weapons
The Way of the Mongol

“In case of need, they will ride a good ten days’ journey without provision and without making a fire, living only on the blood of their horses; for every rider pierces a vein of his horse and drinks the blood.” […]

, , , , , , , , , , human-affairs orient genre regions14th-century-ad body food gross horse issues marco-polo repost toughness weapons
Rage of a Hero

“You are ugly and evil, and your name will be struck from the list warriors. Your fate is decided now; the woman who bore you will weep for you.” […]

, , , , , , , , orient violence regions genreduel emotions heroics honor issues shahnameh weapons wordplay
Conversion of the Langobards

“Then one of them drew his sword to cut off his head, but straightway his right hand stiffened while suspended in the act of striking, nor could he draw it back. So he let go of the sword and dropped it upon the ground.” […]

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Duel of Swords and Words

“Gisli, who was out in the woods, heard this and answered, “Find some better employment for your farmhands. Here is a man who dares to fight you.” […]

, , , , , , , , , , , viking violence regions genre13th-century-ad body duel eyri gislis-saga issues loot poetry repost weapons wordplay
The Emperor’s Infinite Forgiveness

‘ You yourself know what your grandfather Hadrian said: “The lot of emperors is wretched, for they cannot be believed in cases of attempted usurpation – unless they have been killed!”’ […]

, , , , , , greek-and-roman human-affairs regions genre4th-century-ad augustan-history diplomacy governance issues kindness
Knights of the Round Table to the Rescue

“Then the true royals of the Round Table
With great gusto went galloping against them,
Though in the melees with their middle guard they were ill matched.
What a marvel to see such a massing multitude!” […]

, , , , britons_celts violence regions genre15th-century-ad alliterative-morte-darthur battle issues
A Murdered Beloved

“In an outburst of love which her weakness hardly allowed, she slid along like a snake, dragging her own completely bloody body up beside the lifeless corpse. As if he were alive, she gave him as many sweet kisses as she could and broke out into a sorrowful song.” […]

, , , , , , , , , human-affairs western_europe genre regions12th-century-ad death emotions gender hair marriage mild repost the-deeds-of-louis-the-fat
An Embar-ass-ing Setback

“Then, just as King Adils was pulling the spear shaft with the ring on it back towards him, King Hrolf galloped up and sliced off both his buttocks right down to the bone.” […]

, , , , , , viking violence regions genre14th-century-ad body hrolf-kraki issues repost trickery
The Downtrodden Show Their Might

“These valiant men gained the chance they had longed for–to be free to die in battle rather than to perish of hunger–and immediately took arms to kill the generals Lupicinus and Maximus.” […]

, , , , , , , , , greek-and-roman history regions genre6th-century-ad battle burial clean honor jordanes peoples repost weapons
The Arrogance of Metalworkers

” The king bade them do so, and they then made a knife and brought it to the king. He tried it on his beard, and took off the beard as well as the skin, so that it took hold in the flesh.” […]

, , , , , , , , human-affairs viking genre regions14th-century-ad asmund-the-champion-slayer crafting governance hair loot mild viks
A Patriot’s Vision of his Homeland

“Numberless springs also well up, and burst forth from the hills and the sloping ridges of the mountains, and, trickling down with sweetest sound, in crystal rivulets between flowery banks, flow together through the level vales, and give birth to many streams; and these again to large rivers, in which Scotia marvelously abounds, beyond any other country.” […]

, , , , , , britons_celts history regions genre14th-century-ad author john-of-fordun mild places repost
Following a Deer to Civilization

“After many generations, since, while living there, they were completely ignorant of any other part of the world, it happened one time that in their pursuit of a deer, they forced their way across the Meotic marshes that had hitherto proved impassable to all men.” […]

, , , , , eastern_europe history regions genre10th-century-ad evil legend peoples widukind
The Failed Ambush

“Kolskegg said: ‘No need to look! It’s just as you thought; the leg is off!’ Then Kol fell dead to the ground.” […]

, , , , , , , viking violence regions genre13th-century-ad battle gore heroics honor mild njal
The Drama of the Stork

“It happened that the female stork brought forth young, and the male flew about to procure food. Now, while he was absent, the female admitted a gallant; and before the return of the male went down to the fountain to wash herself, in order that the other might perceive no disorder in her appearance.” […]

, , , , , , , , , greek-and-roman human-affairs regions genre13th-century-ad animals clean entertainment gesta-romanorum love repost revenge sex
Totally Normal Behavior

“Then she wrapped the head in a piece of rich cloth, and laid it in a large and elegant pot, of the sort in which she planted several springs of the finest Salernitan basil.” […]

, , , , , , , greek-and-roman human-affairs regions genre14th-century-ad burial death decameron emotion garden mild
Olympus Has Fallen

“When he tried to go off, and his horse had begun its course, a knight came pricking, and hit him, striking him with such violence as to stretch him out at full length. And he soon fared still worse than even that; for as he recovered himself, and would have mounted his horse, and had laid his hand on the saddle bow, the throng increased around, and bore him from the saddle, throwing him down; and the horses trod him underfoot, so that they left him there for dead.” […]

, , , , , , history western_europe genre regions12th-century-ad battle governance honor roman-de-rou weapons
To Defy a Khan

“Never in our time were so many men engaged on one battlefield, especially so many horsemen. So many died on either side that it was a marvel to behold.” […]

, , , , , , , , history orient genre regions14th-century-ad battle governance issues marco-polo religion repost weapons
To Stare in the Face of Death

“One dies from a sword blow in the midst of battle; vultures and ravening lions devour his body, spears and swords slash his head. Another dies in his bed, but it is certain that we must all die.” […]

, , , , , , , , science orient genre regions10th-century-ad death duel issues philosophy shahnameh weapons wisdom
Escape from the Langobards

“When the servants announced to the king that he was drinking insatiably, the king merrily answered: ‘Let that drunkard drink; but tomorrow he will spill out the same wines mixed with blood.'” […]

, , , , , , history western_europe genre regionsbooze clean heroics honor langobards trickery
Stubbornness of the Stable Boy

“When I was coming to you just now, the porter closed the gates in front of me. So I kicked the gate with my foot so that the iron broke to pieces, and the gate fell all to pieces.” […]

, , , , , human-affairs western_europe genre regions15th-century-ad didrik-of-bern fool issues repost
Never in a Goat’s Eye

The patient felt no pain; but added, “I wish you would hasten to restore my eyes.” The operator cheerfully complied; but as he prepared his implements, a crow entered by an open window, and, seeing the eyes upon the table, snatched one of them up, and flew away with it.” […]

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Two Against One and the Odds are Even

“Thorbjorn rushed forward and swung a blow at Grettir, who drew his buckler with his left hand to parry it, then thrust out with his sword, splitting Thorbjorn’s shield and striking him such a blow on the head that his brains spilled out and he fell down dead on the spot.” […]

, , , , , viking violence regions genre14th-century-ad duel grettir issues justice
War of the Deathless Gods

“Then Zeus no longer held back his might; but straight his heart was filled with fury and he showed forth all his strength. From Heaven and from Olympus he came forthwith, hurling his lightning: the bold flew thick and fast from his strong hand together with thunder and lightning, whirling an awesome flame.” […]

, , , , , , , , greek-and-roman supernatural regions genre8th-century-bc battle clean generations gods hesiod humanoid monsters
An Untrustworthy Archbishop

“The bishop turned back into the city with Adalbert and was released from his oath, as it seemed to him, because he had already permitted him to remain in safety in his own place.” […]

, , , , , , eastern_europe history regions genre10th-century-ad diplomacy honor religion trickery widukind
Just What Happens on a Wedding Night?

“Let, wing’d with pleasure, the soft minutes flow,
And lasting bliss no interruption know,
While with like heat, her faithful bosom warms;
For in his time he was the flower of arms.” […]

, , , , , , , , , britons_celts human-affairs regions genre15th-century-ad celebrity clean love marriage poetry repost sex wallace
The Phalanx March

“As ravening fire rips through big stands of timber high on a mountain ridge and the blaze flares miles away, so from the marching troops the blaze of bronze armor, splendid and superhuman, flared across the earth, flashing into the air to hit the skies.” […]

, , , , , , , greek-and-roman violence regions genre8th-century-bc battle celebrity homer issues poetry repost
Death of a Viking Legend

“In the thick of the fighting, Bui and Sigmundur closed on one another in single combat. Bui was the stronger man, but Sigmundur was the quicker and better with a sword. Sigmundur switched his weapon to his other hand, as he could fight equally well with either hand – something which few or no men can do – and in a blinding slash, he cut off one of Bui’s hands at the wrist.” […]

, , , , , , , history viking genre regions13th-century-ad battle celebrity faroe-island-saga gore mild ocean
Righteous Punishment

“When he was alive he had lacked a brain, and now that he was dead he lacked a heart, for they ripped it from his entrails and impaled it on a stake, swollen as it was with fraud and evil.” […]

, , , , , , , , science western_europe genre regions12th-century-ad evil gore justice mild religion repost the-deeds-of-louis-the-fat
The Dolphins and the Fishermen

“They put themselves between the open sea and the shore and drive the mullet into shallow water. Then the fishermen set their nets and lift the fish out of the water with two-pronged spears. The speed of some of the mullet enables them to leap over the barriers, but the dolphins still catch them.” […]

, , , , , , , greek-and-roman science regions genre1st-century-ad animals hunting issues ocean pliny repost
The Pharaoh’s Losses

“One thousand and five hundred years, and seventy, less one,
Before the birth, as I have found, of God’s incarnate Son,
Was Pharaoh, following the Jews, in the Red Sea Undone” […]

, , , , , , , greek-and-roman history regions genre14th-century-ad author john-of-fordun legend mild poetry repost
On the Road with a Killer Angel

“The pilgrim turned, and pointed with his finger to the road they were to take; but as he turned, the angel seized him by the shoulders, and precipitated him into the stream below.” […]

, , , , , , , greek-and-roman violence regions genre13th-century-ad clean demon etiquette gesta-romanorum repost trickery
Wife-Swapping Brits

“Wives are shared between groups of ten or twelve men, especially between brothers and between fathers and sons, but the offspring of these unions are counted as the children of the man with whom a particular woman cohabited.” […]

, , , , , , , britons_celts history regions genre1st-century-ad conquest-of-gaul family gender issues marriage repost
The Man in the Jaws of the Dragon

“Then they struck the dragon until it died. Sintram’s sword bit into it like the sharpest shaving knife bites into a beard.” […]

, , , , , , , supernatural western_europe genre regions15th-century-ad didrik-of-bern hair issues monsters repost weapons
Hail the Viking Wizard-Pirate

“Therefore, to avoid stooping to a trial of strength with pirates at sea, he would cause the waves and winds to rage by means of his sorcery and induce them to wreck his foes.” […]

, , , , , , supernatural viking genre regions16th-century-ad magic mild ocean olaus-magnus repost
The Honorable Weasel

“She went over to a jug of milk, which had been set aside for the man’s son and heir, stood up on her hind legs, spat the venom which she had inside her body into the milk and so infected it with deadly poison.” […]

, , , , , , britons_celts science regions genre12th-century-ad animals gerald-of-wales issues repost revenge
The Dangers of Medieval Comedy

“On seeing him enter, al-Rashid said: ‘They tell me that you say very amusing things. Let us have a sample of your quality; but I must warn you that, if you do not make me laugh, the stick awaits you.'” […]

, , , , , , humor orient genre regions15th-century-ad arabian-nights clean humor justice money
The City of the Gods

“‘That is a senseless question,’ replied Har, with a smile of derision. ‘Hast thou not been told that the gods made a bridge from earth to heaven, and called it Bifrost? Thou must surely have seen it; but, perhaps, thou callest it the rainbow.'” […]

, , , , , science viking genre regions13th-century-ad clean gods places prose-edda
A Stygian Oath

“For whoever of the deathless gods that hold the peaks of snowy Olympus pours a libation of her water is forsworn, lies breathless until a full year is completed, and never comes near to taste ambrosia and nectar, but lies spiritless and voiceless on a strewn bed: and a heavy trance overshadows him.” […]

, , , , , , greek-and-roman supernatural regions genre8th-century-bc clean hesiod legend ocean ritual
Medieval Labor Relations

” One morning he went off with Atli’s farmhands and worked like a man with a thousand hands. Ali kept this up through the summer. Atli ignored him, but had him fed because he approved of the work he was doing.” […]

, , , , , , human-affairs viking genre regions14th-century-ad class etiquette grettir honor issues
The Honesty of a Goldsmith

“The goldsmith on hearing this remained silent as if it were no great moment. But when the job was finished and delivered, he asked for and obtained a few days off. He met the duke, and standing in his path as he was going to the affair, he related to him what he had heard.” […]

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Witness to a Witch Trial

“I was told that every ten years, witchcraft increases and the old witches begin to lead the women astray.” […]

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A Comedian in His Bones

Long time ago a clownish fellow lived in that country; his name was Klefsan. It is told of this own that there was never a man who, when he saw Klefsan, was not compelled to laugh at his amusing and absurd remarks.” […]

, , , , , , supernatural viking genre regions13th-century-ad clean death humor kings-mirror repost
The Goddess Prepares for War

“Then onto the flaming chariot Pallas set her feet and seized her spear – weighted, heavy, the massive shaft she wields to break the battle lines of heroes the mighty Father’s daughter storms against.” […]

, , , , , , , , greek-and-roman supernatural regions genre8th-century-bc clothes homer issues loot poetry repost valkyrie
Conversion by the Sword

“Now I’m going to present you with two extremely unequal options. The better one is that you convert to the true faith and be baptized. If you are unwilling to do this, then the other option is that we’ll kill you right here and now.” […]

, , , , , , , human-affairs viking genre regions13th-century-ad crime diplomacy faroe-island-saga mild religion weapons
Beaten with Scorpions

“Hugh proved to be a worthless shoot who took after his father with every kind of evil, but ‘those whom his father beat with whips, he, more despicable than his parent, beat with scorpions.'” […]

, , , , , , , history western_europe genre regions12th-century-ad animals evil mild morality repost the-deeds-of-louis-the-fat
The Bird Who Talks

“The tenant of the next shoemaker’s shop killed the bird, either out of rivalry or in a sudden fit of anger because he claimed that some droppings had spotted his shoes. This aroused such an uproar among the general public that the man was driven out of the district and subsequently lynched, while the bird’s funeral was celebrated with great pomp.” […]

, , , , , , greek-and-roman human-affairs regions genre1st-century-ad animals burial issues pliny repost
Ireland: The Promised Land

“t is both pleasanter, and more praiseworthy, for us to suffer death bravely in battle, than, barely dragging on an ignoble existence, to die daily, miserably fettered under the burden of an execrable subjugation.” […]

, , , , , , , , , britons_celts history regions genre14th-century-ad family john-of-fordun legend mild ocean peoples places repost
Asses Must Know their Place

“Quitting his stable, the donkey entered the hall, and running up to the king, raised his clumsy feet with difficulty around the royal neck.” […]

, , , , , , greek-and-roman humor regions genre13th-century-ad animals clean gesta-romanorum religion repost
Caesar’s Marines

“One device, however, that our men had prepared proved very useful – pointed hooks fixed to the end of long poles, not unlike the grappling-hooks used in sieges. With these the halyards were grasped and pulled taut, and then snapped by rowing hard away.” […]

, , , , , , , , greek-and-roman history regions genre1st-century-ad author celebrity conquest-of-gaul issues ocean repost tactics
A Dastardly Drifter

“Arnkel was then drilling into the cross-plank of the door, and had laid aside his adze while he did it. Thorleif picked it up and lifted it quickly above his head, intending to bring it down on Arnkel’s head. But when Arnkel heard the whistling sound of the adze through the air, he jumped out of the way of the blow.” […]

, , , , , , , viking violence regions genre13th-century-ad class crime duel eyrbyggja-saga eyri issues
Passion Cuts Both Ways

“She looked gently at Detsleff, and he liked that. So he squeezed her fingers when he was taking hold of a bowl. When she came with another bowl he trod on her foot. And so they fell in love.” […]

, , , , , , , violence western_europe genre regions15th-century-ad didrik-of-bern gender issues love repost weapons
The Place is Packed with Wizards

“The wizard then enters a room, satisfied to have with him his wife and one other companion, and strikes over an anvil a prescribed number of blows with a hammer on a copper frog or serpent.” […]

, , , , , , , supernatural viking genre regions16th-century-ad demon mild olaus-magnus places repost ritual
A Demon in Disguise

“Before Jesus Christ was born in the flesh, devils had great power over human beings; but when He came, this power was greatly diminished. They were dispersed, some here, some there, for they fled headlong from His presence. I remember that I myself jumped down a well.” […]

, , , , , , supernatural western_europe genre regions12th-century-ad demon gerald-of-wales issues repost trickery
The Mystery of the Semen Stain

“‘O Abu Yusuf, tell me what this stain may be?’ The kadi went up to the bed, placed his finger in the middle of the stain, carried it to his eye and his nose, and then said; ‘Commander of the Faithful, it is a man’s semen.'” […]

, , , , , , , humor orient genre regions15th-century-ad animals arabian-nights clean gross humor sex
The Wolves of the Sun

“This old hag is the mother of many gigantic sons, who are all of them shaped like wolves, two of whom are the wolves thou askest about. There is one of that race, who is said to be the most formidable of all, called Managarm: he will be filled with the life-blood of men who draw near their end, and will swallow up the moon, and stain the heavens and the earth with blood.” […]

, , , , , , science viking genre regions13th-century-ad animals clean dogs legend prose-edda
A Bloody Brawl

“After they had fought for a while, Atli said, ‘We will earn no prestige from killing each other’s farmhands. There would be more point if we were to fight together by ourselves, for I have never killed a man before.'” […]

, , , , , viking violence regions genre14th-century-ad battle duel grettir issues
Zeus vs. Typhon

” So when Zeus had raised up his might and seized his arms, thunder and lightning and lurid thunderbolt, he leaped form Olympus and struck him, and burned all the marvellous heads of the monster about him.” […]

, , , , , , , , greek-and-roman supernatural regions genre8th-century-bc battle clean demon gods hesiod legend monsters
A Saxon Attack

“As the ballad-makers tell us, hell must indeed be a large place, if it can contain so great a multitude of the slain.” […]

, , , history western_europe genre regions10th-century-ad battle widukind
The Skin-skirt of the Fish-Woman

“God had created for her in the middle of her body a kind of white skin like a thick, strong cloth, which went from her waist to her knees, covering her private parts and it was like a veil attached to her waist to hide her nakedness.” […]

, , , , , , , , , eastern_europe supernatural regions genreanimals berber body gender humanoid issues ocean repost weapons
A God-killer Strikes

But once Diomedes caught Aphrodite, stalking her through the onslaught, gallant Tydeus’ offspring rushed her, lunging out, thrusting his sharp spear at her soft, limp wrist and the brazen point went slashing through her […]

, , , , , , , greek-and-roman supernatural regions genre8th-century-bc battle duel gods homer issues repost
No Respite from an Implacable Foe

“Then Thorir said, “All of our lives, Sigmundur, we’ve been together. You’ve been my only family, and I’ve been yours. But now it seems likely that our dear partnership is coming to an end. I’ve swam as far as I can. I want you to save yourself … save your own life, and forget about me. Because you’ll die, my brother, if you try to save me too.”” […]

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The Priest of Battle

“When they saw an unarmed priest bravely tearing down the enclosures, they surged forward with their weapons and began striking the palisade with their axes and whatever iron tools they had.” […]

, , , , , , , science western_europe genre regions12th-century-ad heroics honor mild religion repost the-deeds-of-louis-the-fat
Cleopatra and the Pearls

“Anthony waited breathlessly to see what on earth she was going to do. Cleopatra took off one ear-ring, dropped the pearl in the vinegar and, when it had dissolved, swallowed it.” […]

, , , , , , greek-and-roman history regions genre1st-century-ad celebrity issues luxury pliny repost
Coastal Scots, Wild Highlanders

“The highlanders and people of the islands, on the other hand, are a savage an untamed nation, rude and independent, ease-loving, of a docile and warm disposition, comely in person, but unsightly in dress, and hostile to the English people and language.” […]

, , , , , , , , britons_celts human-affairs regions genre14th-century-ad beauty clothes governance john-of-fordun mild peoples repost
Everyone Hates Toads

“The serpent glided towards him, and applying its tongue to the wound, sucked up the poison till its mouth was quite full; and then, hastening to the door, cast it out. It returned twice to the wound, and did as before, until the venom was exhausted.” […]

, , , , , , greek-and-roman human-affairs regions genre13th-century-ad animals clean gesta-romanorum medicine revenge
Brothers Sworn in Blood

“Then they drew blood and let it drip down on to the soil beneath the turf strip and stirred it together – the soil and the blood.” […]

, , , , , , , , human-affairs viking genre regions13th-century-ad eyri gislis-saga honor issues religion repost ritual
Caesar’s Surprise Victory

“The Roman soldiers could tell that they were afraid by their cries and hurried movements, and, spurred on by the recollection of the previous day’s treachery, burst into the camp. Those of the Germans who were quick enough in seizing their weapons resisted for a time, fighting under cover of their wagons and baggage.” […]

, , , , , , , , greek-and-roman history regions genre1st-century-ad author battle celebrity conquest-of-gaul issues repost tactics
Any Price to Keep the Feast Going

“He went into the village and pawned Heym’s horse, armor, and sword, Nagelring, for 10 marks of gold. He drank and was drunk all the time it went on. Then he pawned Wideke’s horse, Skimling, his armour, and his sword, Mymming, for 20 marks of gold. He made his feast bigger.” […]

, , , , , , , , humor western_europe genre regions15th-century-ad didrik-of-bern food fool issues loot luxury repost
What Shall We Do About All this Magic?

” There was a time when the Finns, among other pagan delusions, would offer wind for sale to traders who were detained on their coasts by offshore gales, and when payment had been brought would given them in return three magic knots tied in a strap not likely to break.” […]

, , , , , , , , , supernatural viking genre regions16th-century-ad author magic mild olaus-magnus peoples religion repost weather
The Shadow of the Elephant

“Then the animal struck him to the ground with its foreleg. When Fasholt saw Didrik in such trouble, he leapt off his horse at once and ran to help Didrik. He couldn’t find a place where he thought he could injure the animal.” […]

, , , , , , violence western_europe genre regions15th-century-ad animals battle didrik-of-bern issues repost
The Beaver Self-Castrates

“The creature castrates itself before the hunter’s eyes and throws its testicles down.” […]

, , , , , , , britons_celts science regions genre12th-century-ad animals body gerald-of-wales gross issues repost
Odin’s Wives

“Earth is his daughter and his wife, and with her he had his first-born son, Asa-Thor, who is endowed with strength and valour, and therefore quelleth he everything that hath life.” […]

, , , , , science viking genre regions13th-century-ad clean gods marriage prose-edda
Making an Ass of Himself

“I am your ass, my master; but my tale is a strange one. In my youth I was a bad lad, given to all sorts of disgraceful vice.” […]

, , , , , , humor genre15th-century-ad animals arabian-nights clean criminal fool transformation
Zeus, Father of Gods

“But Zeus himself gave birth from his own head to bright-eyed (Athena) Tritogeneia, the awful, the strife-stirring, the host-leader, the unwearying, the queen, who delights in tumults and wars and battles.” […]

, , , , , , , , greek-and-roman supernatural regions genre8th-century-bc celebrity clean family gender gods hesiod sex
When Trial By Ordeal Goes Wrong

“As Grettir was walking down the aisle a young and quite ugly boy ran up to him and said, ‘What a strange custom in this country that call itself Christian, to allow evil-doers and bandits and thieves to go about in peace and undergo ordeals.'” […]

, , , , , , , science viking genre regions14th-century-ad crime grettir honor issues religion ritual
A Marriage Arranged by Force

“Simulating an illness, he sent for Giselbert, who stood next in line to succeed to the dukedom of his father, captured him by treachery, and sent him under guard to King Henry.” […]

, , , , , human-affairs western_europe genre regions10th-century-ad governance marriage trickery widukind
Skiers of Bulgaria

“In this way, he moves over the snow at speed and if it were not for their ingenious contrivance, it would be absolutely impossible to walk, for the snow lies on the earth like sand and never hardens.” […]

, , , , , eastern_europe history regions genre12th-century-ad berber crafting hunting repost
A Terrifying Oath

“Whichever contenders trample on this treaty first, spill their brains on the ground as this wine spills – theirs, their children’s too – their enemies rape their wives!” […]

, , , , , , greek-and-roman human-affairs regions genre8th-century-bc gore homer honor issues repost
Bold Action Saves the Day

““There’s little we can do,” replied Sigmundur. “The only chance is to row straight at them and get them to drop their sail, and as our ship comes alongside theirs, you both draw your swords and try to cut the rope-lines on their gunnels so they can’t raise the sail again, and I’ll try to do what I can.”” […]

, , , , , , viking violence regions genre13th-century-ad battle faroe-island-saga heroics mild ocean
Louis the Brawler King

“Thus, although it little befitted a king to do such a thing, he arranged a splendid bath for his foe all the way up to his helmet in that stream.” […]

, , , , , , , , history western_europe genre regions12th-century-ad battle duel emotions governance horse mild the-deeds-of-louis-the-fat
When Octopuses Attack!

“It struggles with him, embracing him with its tentacles, swallows at him with its many suckers and pulls him apart; it attacks shipwrecked men or men who are diving.” […]

, , , , , , greek-and-roman science regions genre1st-century-ad animals issues ocean pliny repost
A Spurned Ultimatum

“Think not, O Caesar, that thou canst entice us, like children, by the blandishments of cajolery like this – that thou canst succeed in leading us astray, leaving the pleasant and noble road of freedom, our birthright, a road wherein our fathers were ever wont to walk straight forwards.” […]

, , , , , , , britons_celts history regions genre14th-century-ad celebrity diplomacy john-of-fordun mild repost speech
A Temple to the Old Gods

“A sacrificial bowl was placed on the plat form and in it a sacrificial twig – like a priest’s aspergillum – which was used to sprinkle blood from the blow.” […]

, , , , , , , , , human-affairs viking genre regions13th-century-ad eyrbyggja-saga eyri gods issues places religion repost ritual
The Defiance of Germany

“Let him attack whenever he pleases. He will discover what German valour is capable of.” […]

, , , , , greek-and-roman human-affairs regions genre1st-century-bc celebrity conquest-of-gaul issues peoples
Wisdom of the Snake

“A Norwegian woman, intending to provide for the future good fortune of her son Roller, prepared a dish of food, into which she let drip the putrid saliva of three vipers hanging above it from a slender cord.” […]

, , , , , , science viking genre regions16th-century-ad fool magic mild olaus-magnus repost
Some Dreams End in Death

“It seems to me that dreams are like rumours: you must use your common sense, and then accept some but refuse to believe others.” […]

, , , , , , , , britons_celts supernatural regions genre12th-century-ad animals gerald-of-wales issues prophesy repost sleep wisdom
Separating the Men and the Boys

“Sister, how can you bear the roughness of your lover’s beard when you kiss him? Surely it must scratch your breasts, and the points of his moustaches stick into your lips and cheeks?” […]

, , , , , , human-affairs orient genre regions15th-century-ad arabian-nights clean hair humor sex
Death of the Great Frost Father

“The cow supported herself by licking the stones that were covered with salt and hoar frost. The first day that she licked these stones there sprang from them, towards evening, the hairs of a man, the second day a head, and on the third an entire man, who was endowed with beauty, agility and power.” […]

, , , , , , , science viking genre regions13th-century-ad clean evil gods humanoid legend prose-edda
Berserker versus Revenant

” Grettir backed away into one seat after another. All the benches were torn loose and everything in their way was smashed. Glam tried to make it to the door, while Grettir struggled for a foothold.” […]

, , , , , , supernatural viking genre regions14th-century-ad celebrity duel grettir humanoid revenant
Saint Durable

” He replied to the Emperor somewhat sternly, and was cast to the beasts but was unhurt by them. Then he was cast into the midst of a fiery oven, but the flames were put out by an angel and he emerged unhurt.” […]

, , , , , , supernatural western_europe genre regions10th-century-ad death evil religion toughness widukind
Traders on the Sea of Darkness

“In the Darkness there is a tree as big as a large village and on it perches an enormous creature, some say a bird.” […]

, , , , , , , orient supernatural regions genre12th-century-ad berber issues money monsters places repost
Front-Line Poetry

“Now the savage work went on, Acheans and Trojans mauling each other there like wolves, leaping, hurtling into each other, man throttling man.” […]

, , , , , , , greek-and-roman violence regions genre8th-century-bc battle death homer issues poetry repost
Raider versus Raider on the Open Sea

“Simundur jumped onto the dragon-warship, and a large group of men followed after him. Sigmundur quickly became the death of one defender, then another, and corpses soon littered the decks beneath them.” […]

, , , , , , viking violence regions genre13th-century-ad battle duel faroe-island-saga mild ocean
A King Brought Low by Love

“He did nothing worthy of the royal majesty, for he was carried away by lust for the married woman he had carried off and gave himself over to gratifying his desires.” […]

, , , , , , , , uncategorized12th-century-ad body family health honor marriage mild morality the-deeds-of-louis-the-fat
The Dolphins of Tunisia

“Dolphins are not afraid of humans as something alien, but come to meet vessels at sea and play and leap around them; they try to race ships and overtake them even when they are under full sail.” […]

, , , , , , greek-and-roman science regions genre1st-century-ad animals issues ocean pliny repost
The Mild-Mannered Berserker

“n the hayfield at Mavahlid a hand was found where the fight had taken place. It was shown to Thorarin, and he saw that it was the hand of a woman. He asked where Aud was, and was told that she was lying in her bed. He went in to see her and asked whether she was wounded.” […]

, , , , , , , , , , , viking violence regions genre13th-century-ad battle criminal eyrbyggja-saga eyri honor humiliation issues repost revenge toughness
The Poison Kiss

“Do not touch her, for if you do, you will certainly perish. She has been nurtured upon the most deleterious food, which I will prove to you immediately. Here is a malefactor, who is already condemned to death. He shall be united to her, and you will soon see the truth of what I advance.” […]

, , , , , , , greek-and-roman human-affairs regions genre13th-century-ad celebrity clean gender gesta-romanorum marriage trickery
History as a Science

“The Word of God the Father was made flesh, and began to dwell amongst us, 5199 years after the beginning of the world, 2452 after the crossing of the Red Sea, 1206 after the taking of Troy. Seven hundred and fifty-two years had passed from the building of Rome, when Christ sanctified the world.” […]

, , , , , , britons_celts science regions genre14th-century-ad author john-of-fordun mild religion repost
The Currency of God’s Esteem

“Narses the patrician of Italy came to the city with many treasures, and there in his dwelling he secretly dug a great cistern in which he deposited many thousand centenaria of gold and silver. And when all who knew of the matter had been killed, he entrusted these to the care of one old man only, exacting from him an oath.” […]

, , , , , , supernatural western_europe genre regions8th-century-ad clean justice langobards money religion
Sports With Deadly Stakes

“They went out onto the field. Walter took a stone that weighed 2 ship-pounds, and he threw it 9 feet. Then Detsleff threw 10 feet. So Walter threw 13 feet. Detsleff threw 14 feet. Then Walter didn’t want to play that game any more.” […]

, , , , , , , , human-affairs western_europe genre regions15th-century-ad didrik-of-bern food issues kindness luck money repost
Prince and Pariah

“Roused to anger, and backed by a numerous band of youths, Gaythelos disturbed his father’s kingdom by many cruel misdeeds, and angered his father and his people by his insolence.” […]

, , , , , , , greek-and-roman history regions genre14th-century-ad celebrity generations john-of-fordun mild outlaw repost
A Plague of Frogs

“The toads crawled up the tree looking for him. They killed him and ate him right up, leaving nothing but his skeleton.” […]

, , , , , britons_celts supernatural regions genre12th-century-ad death gerald-of-wales issues repost
The Pleasure Contest

“At once the slave from Madinah clasped his hands and began to caress them gently, while the one from Kufah, lying lower, rubbed his feet and took advantage of her position to slip up her hand from time to time and handle the principal merchandise.” […]

, , , , , , science orient genre regions15th-century-ad arabian-nights clean religion sex wordplay
The Origins of Northern Life

“We are far from believing him to have been a god, for he was wicked as are all of his race, whom we call Frost-giants.” […]

, , , , , , , science viking genre regions13th-century-ad clean gods humanoid legend places prose-edda
A Body in the Mountains

“They concluded that the evil being, which was there before, had killed Glam, but that he must have dealt it a mighty, fatal wound, because no one has ever been aware of it since.” […]

, , , , , , supernatural viking genre regions14th-century-ad grettir humanoid issues magic religion
Blowing Smoke

“Hearing these words, the old man bent over flat on his belly on the ass in front of Jafar, in sign of gratitude and respect, and suddenly let a detestable fart.” […]

, , , , , , , , humor orient genre regions15th-century-ad arabian-nights body clean gross hair humor medicine
The First and Eldest God

“All that are righteous shall dwell with him in the place called Gimli, or Vingolf; but the wicked shall go to Hel, and thence to Niflhel, which is below, in the ninth world.” […]

, , , , , supernatural viking genre regions13th-century-ad clean gods places prose-edda
Race and Color in the 16th Century

“How many there are in the world who run from others because they do not see themselves in them.” […]

, , , , , , , human-affairs western_europe genre regions16th-century-ad class clean family generations lazarillo peoples
Who Cares What the Crows Think?

“These crows are hardly four years old, while I have campaigned against the Saracens for more than twenty years and know the science and means of warfare better than them.” […]

, , , , , humor western_europe genre regions13th-century-ad animals prophesy stephen-de-bourbon wisdom
Christmas in Camelot

“”Noel,” they cheered, then “Noel, Noel,” “New Years Gifts!” the knights cried next as they pressed forwards to offer their presents.” […]

, , , , , britons_celts humor regions genre14th-century-ad etiquette gawain-and-the-green-knight holiday party
The Grump of Christmas Eve

“Glam replied, “you have all sorts of superstitions that I dismiss as worthless. People don’t strike me as being any better off now than they were in the days when they didn’t practice such things.” […]

, , , , , , , science viking genre regions14th-century-ad etiquette food grettir issues manners religion
A Bloody Battle in Ballad

“Such deeds were wrought, as truly ‘twere a crime,
Them to describe in our unlearned rhyme.
How arms met arms, and swords went clishy clash.
For rural lays to sing would be too rash.” […]

, , , , , , , , , britons_celts violence regions genre15th-century-ad author battle celebrity clean poetry repost wallace weapons
Scandalous Stallions

“When the stallions were to leap the mares, they were to be brought before such a part of the house, where she had a vidette (a hole to peep out at) to look on them.” […]

, , , , , , , britons_celts human-affairs regions genre17th-century-ad animals aubrey clean horse humiliation sex
An Exchange of Insults Gets Surreal

“You probably do not remember clearly now when you were the witch on Varinsey and said that you wanted to marry a man and you chose me for the role of husband. And afterward you were a Valkyrie in Asgard and all were on the verge of fighting for your sake. I sired nine wolves on you at Laganess, and I was the father of them all.” […]

, , , , , , , , , , , humor viking genre regions13th-century-ad animals gender honor humanoid humiliation issues repost saga-of-the-volsungs sex wordplay
My Strength is Yours To Spy

“But when he learnt what was their errand, and that they wanted to estimate his strength, he had them taken through all the tents, and shewed the whole host to them. Then he used them exceeding well, gave them abundantly to eat and drink, and let them go without injury or molestation.” […]

, , , , , , , , , , , britons_celts history regions genre12th-century-ad battle celebrity clean governance hair honor master-wace roman-de-rou trickery wisdom
A Dirty Rotten Prank

“He took a lozenge, put it in his mouth, and chewed it apace, by means whereof when the fume ascended he began to spattle and spit, saying by Gods bones it is a Cat’s turd.” […]

, , , , , , , , , britons_celts human-affairs regions genre16th-century-ad beware-the-cat clean gross health hygene medicine trickery vulgarity
An Icelandic Anomaly

“People thought it so remarkable that Kjartan could live so long without meat that they traveled long distances just to look at him.” […]

, , , , humor viking genre regions13th-century-ad food issues laxdaela-saga
Reasons Not to Drink Blood

“The maiden in the vision ordered one of those dressed in white to fill a vessel with blood and give it to Leo’s mother to drink.” […]

, , , , , , , greek-and-roman human-affairs regions genre11th-century-ad evil food john-skylitzes mild prophesy sanity
The Clarity of a Lunatic

“She had first picked out with a splinter, and then chewed up the remnant of food that stuck in the crevices between her teeth.” […]

, , , , , , , , , , , , , human-affairs viking genre regions12th-century-ad celebrity clever clothes gender gesta-danorum hygene manners mild prophesy repost sanity wisdom
A Heroic Escape

“He shattered skulls, arms, shoulder-blades and even legs, causing the greatest possible terror, and before he left the spot he had killed seventy men with the stake which he held.” […]

, , , , , , , britons_celts violence regions genre12th-century-ad battle geoffrey-of-monmouth honor issues repost toughness
Assassins Origins

“When the Sheikh desired the death of some great lord, he would take some of these Asssassins of his and send them wherever he might wish, telling them that he was minded to dispatch them to Paradise. They would according go and kill such and such a man; if they died on their mission, they would go there all the sooner.” […]

, , , , , , , , , , orient violence regions genre14th-century-ad afterlife celebrity evil honor issues legend marco-polo repost trickery
To Fool an Emperor

“Hence the following story has also become well known: when he had refused a request to a certain gray-haired man, and the same man petitioned again, but with dyed hair.” […]

, , , , , , greek-and-roman humor regions genre4th-century-ad augustan-history fool hair humor issues
Gross-out at Grace

“Surely I would not be able
to overcome the temptation
of thrusting you into myself,
if we were lying alone,
pleasuring one another.” […]

, , , , , , , , , , humor viking genre regions14th-century-ad body manners mild religion ritual sex tale-of-volsi viks vulgarity
A Legend in Battle

“With hard steel clubs they clattered at helmets,
Crushing down crests and crashing through brains,
Slaying infantry and armored horses,
Chopping down chevaliers on chalk-white chargers.” […]

, , , , , , , britons_celts violence regions genre15th-century-ad alliterative-morte-darthur battle humanoid issues poetry wordplay
#BeggarHacks

“Speaking of the good there was in my blind man, your Honour must know that since God created the world He has not made a being more astute and sagacious.” […]

, , , , , , , , human-affairs western_europe genre regions16th-century-ad class clean lazarillo medicine money prophesy trickery
Unstoppable on the Battlefield

“Visina said to Starkad, ‘Now Hel’s greed has come upon you, and now you must die, you ogre.’ He answered, ‘But first, you’ll let King Harald’s banner droop,’ and he cut off her left hand. […]

, , , , , , , viking violence regions genre13th-century-ad battle clean duel heroics sogubrot valkyrie
Saved By Honor

“This was the reason, we are told, why he, together with the Trojans who still survived, was allowed to leave the Troad in complete safety and go to whatever land he wished.” […]

, , , , , , , greek-and-roman violence regions genre1st-century-bc clean diodorus-siculus family honor legend repost
Nothing Will Stop William Wallace

“But they in vain to break it did essay,
Till Wallace fretting at the long delay,
Came on himself, and with a furious shock,
The bar and staple all in flinders broke.” […]

, , , , , , , , britons_celts violence regions genre15th-century-ad battle celebrity clean heroics poetry repost wallace
Heroism Has a Cost

“Now Eirek of Norway draws his sword and grasps it in his right hand and takes one of his companions by the left hand. They rush up and leap into the mouth of the dragon, and it looked to Eirek the Dane as if the dragon swallowed them both.” […]

, , , , , , , supernatural viking genre regions14th-century-ad death honor mild monsters sage-of-eirek-the-traveller viks
The Man Who Farted

On his return the queen welcomed him home and said, “My lord, I had forgot the fart”. […]

, , , , , , , britons_celts humor regions genre17th-century-ad body celebrity clean governance humiliation vulgarity
Out-of-Touch Medieval Elites

“Now one time while they were drinking, the king talked with the women and said: “How do you note the break of day, when the night grows light, if you can not see the heavenly bodies?” The maidservant answered: “This is how I note it: as a child I was in the habit of drinking quite a bit before dawn. And when I stopped doing that, I would still wake up at the same time, and that is my signal.” The king smiled at this reply and said: “That is a poor habit for a king’s daughter.”” […]

, , , , , , , , human-affairs viking genre regions13th-century-ad booze class issues marriage repost saga-of-the-volsungs trickery
Wrestling With Power

” Kjartan plunged into the river and made for this man who was the best swimmer, and forced him under water at once and held him there for a while before letting go of him. No sooner had they come to the surface than this man seized hold of Kjartan and pulled him down, and they stayed under for what seemed to Kjartan a very reasonable time. They surfaced for a second time, and still they exchanged no words.” […]

, , , , , , humor viking genre regions13th-century-ad honor issues laxdaela-saga ocean sport
The Emperor’s No-Good Step-Brother

“He also used to thrown the largest coins into cookshops and smash the cups with them.” […]

, , , , greek-and-roman human-affairs regions genre4th-century-ad augustan-history issues morality
Eat, Drink, and Die Tomorrow

“I have heard tell that the night before the day of battle, the English were very merry, laughing much and enjoying themselves. All night they ate and drank, and never lay down on their beds.” […]

, , , , , , , , , , , , britons_celts history regions genre12th-century-ad battle booze celebrity clean feast honor morality music party religion roman-de-rou
Please Do Not Read This Post

“My mouth and my nose purged exceedingly, such yellow, white and tawny fluids as I never saw before, nor thought that any such had been in man’s body. ” […]

, , , , , , , , , britons_celts human-affairs regions genre16th-century-ad beware-the-cat clean food gross hygene medicine sanity vulgarity
Assassination of An Emperor

“He was able to resist from some time by parrying the sword thrusts with the sacred cross, but then he was set upon from all sides, like a wild beast.” […]

, , , , , , greek-and-roman history regions genre11th-century-ad crime evil john-skylitzes mild religion
Bloody-Handed Hamlet

“Then, cutting his body into morsels, he seethed it in boiling water, and flung it through the mouth of an open sewer for the swine to eat, bestrewing the stinking mire with his hapless limbs.” […]

, , , , , , , , , , , viking violence regions genre12th-century-ad celebrity crime evil gesta-danorum gore gross repost sanity trickery wordplay
Young Merlin Speaks

“There emerged two Dragons, one white, one red. As soon as they were near enough to each other, they fought bitterly, breathing out fire as they panted.” […]

, , , , , , , britons_celts supernatural regions genre12th-century-ad celebrity geoffrey-of-monmouth issues monsters prophesy repost
What Can Change the Nature of a Man?

“Gentlemen, here is something that puzzles me, because I cannot account for it. How is it that in the kingdoms of Persia, which are such near neighbours of ours, there are folk so unruly and contentious that they are forever killing one another, whereas among us, who are all but one with them, there is hardly an instance of provocation or brawling?” […]

, , , , , science orient genre regions14th-century-ad issues marco-polo repost science
The Emperor in the Bath

“But on another day when several old men were rubbing themselves on the wall to arouse the emperor’s generosity, he ordered them to be called out and to rub each other down in turn.” […]

, , , , , greek-and-roman humor regions genre4th-century-ad augustan-history hygene issues justice
The One-Legged Viking

‘The Vikings laughed and said, “may the trolls swallow you whole Tree-Leg, may the trolls topple you all. It’s not often we see men go into battle who can’t even stand up for themselves.” Onund said that there was no telling until it was put to the test.’ […]

, , , , , , , viking violence regions genre14th-century-ad battle body duel grettir issues ocean
A Knight to Tend to Every Desire

“I have named a noble knight to act as your guardian,
Overlord of England, answerable to you only,
And that person is Sir Mordred, whom you have praised repeatedly
A deputy, my dear, to attend your every desire.” […]

, , , , , , britons_celts human-affairs regions genre14th-century-ad alliterative-morte-darthur celebrity issues love marriage
Weird Wolves in the Woods

“Sigmund and Sinfjotli put the skins on and could not get them off. And the weird power was there as before: they howled like wolves, both understanding the sounds. They agreed then that they would risk a fight with as many as seven men, but not with more, and that the one being attacked by more would howl with his wolf’s voice.” […]

, , , , , , , , , , , supernatural viking genre regions13th-century-ad animals generations honor issues magic medicine monsters repost saga-of-the-volsungs transformation
Tricks of a Charlatan Priest

“My master raised his hands to heaven, and turned his eyes up until scarcely anything could be seen but the whites. He prayed to the Lord not to require the death of the sinner, but rather to give his life back.” […]

, , , , , , science western_europe genre regions16th-century-ad clean lazarillo money religion trickery
Prophesy and Pettiness

“Your dream needs no interpretation. You yourself can understand what it is: more than likely, in only a little while, it will come to pass that you’ll be dead, and your enemies will seize the kingdom.” […]

, , , , , , , , supernatural viking genre regions13th-century-ad emotions family prophesy repost sleep sogubrot trickery
The First Latin City

“An oracle was given to Aeneas, stating that a four-footed animal would lead him to the place where he should found a city, and once, wen he was in the act of sacrificing a sow, white in colour, which was pregnant, it escaped from his hands and was pursued to a certain hill, where it dropped a farrow of thirty pigs.” […]

, , , , , , , , greek-and-roman history regions genre1st-century-bc clean diodorus-siculus legend peoples places prophesy repost
Wha Daur Meddle Wi Me?

“Upon the head, so fierce he struck at one,
The shearing sword cut thro’ his collar bone:
Another on the arm, that stood near by,
He struck, till hand and sword on the field did lie.” […]

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A Humbled King

“When the king woke, he asked who it was. ‘It is us,’ he said, ‘the envoys of your father. We have been sent over to you to discuss peace-terms.’ When he gathered this, the king wanted to inquire more closely into how his father was, and he put his head a little way over the gunwale of the ship. Then Palna-Toki grabbed him by the ears and the hair, gave a more powerful heave against his unavailing resistance, and dragged him willy-nilly out of his own ship.” […]

, , , , , , , , , history viking genre regions12th-century-ad celebrity clean family gender governance sven-aggesen trickery viks
The Drinking Life of Thomas Hobbes

“When Thomas Hobbes did drink, he would drink to excess to have the benefit of vomiting, which he did easily; by which benefit neither his wit was disturbed longer than he was spewing.” […]

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The Awkward Priest

“Soon the most kind king, thinking that he did not know how to sing it all, ordered them to help him. When the others sang and the wretched man could not learn the verse from anyone, having sung the responsory he began to chant the Lord’s Prayer in an elaborate way.” […]

, , , , , , , , , history western_europe genre regions9th-century-ad charlemagne governance issues justice music notker religion repost
An Aging Badass

“Elgrim now tried to get away, and spurred his horse; and when Hrut saw this he raised his halberd and drove it between Eldgrim’s shoulder-blades so hard that the coat of mail burst open at the impact and the halberd came out through his chest. Eldgrim fell dead from his horse, as was only to be expected.” […]

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On the Eve of History

“He is a fool,” said Gurth, “who believes in luck, which no brave man ought to do. No brave man should trust to luck. Every one has his day of death; you say you were born on a Saturday, and on that day also you may be killed.” […]

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Fear and Loathing in the Church

“And as I was there about, a crow which belike was by nodding asleep on the chimney top, fell down into the chimney over my head, whose flittering in the fall made such a noise, that when I felt his feet upon my head I thought that the devil had been come indeed and seized upon me. And when I cast up my hand to save me and therewith touched him, he called me knave in his language after such a sort that I swooned for fear.” […]

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The Point of No Return

“The army returned at once, terrified and amazed by the unexpected nature of this occurrence. They demanded to know the reason for it and began to utter mutinous threats. What they heard was something they had long yearned to hear.” […]

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The Insanity Defense

“All he did savoured of utter lethargy. In a word, you would not have thought him a man at all, but some absurd abortion due to a mad fit of destiny.” […]

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Hengist Goes to Hell

“As each in turn slashed at the other with his sword, the sparks flew from his blows as if he were at once a source of thunder-claps and of lighting-flashes. For a long time it was not clear on which side lay the greater strength.” […]

, , , , , britons_celts violence regions genre12th-century-ad battle celebrity duel geoffrey-of-monmouth
God Frowns on Wine, But Brandy is OK

“If wine is boiled over a fire, so that it is partly consumed and turns sweet, they are free to drink it without breach of commandment or law.” […]

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The Emperor and the Academics

“You don’t give me good advice, my friends,” said Favorinus, “when you don’t allow me to believe the man who possesses 30 legions to be more learned than anyone else!” […]

, , , , , , greek-and-roman history regions genre4th-century-ad augustan-history issues learning science wisdom
Gettir the Tomb Raider

“hen Grettir drew his sword, Jokul’s Gift, swung at the mound-dwellers neck and chopped off his head. He placed the head up against the mound-dwellers buttocks and took all the treasure over to the rope.” […]

, , , , , supernatural viking genre regions14th-century-ad duel grettir humanoid revenant
The Well Fletched Arrows Flew at the Foe

“Then jolly that gentle giant out jousted another,
Cut a wide swath as he scythed down warriors,
Woefully wounding those who stood in his way.” […]

, , , , , , , , britons_celts violence regions genre15th-century-ad alliterative-morte-darthur battle celebrity duel horse issues poetry
The Life and Doings of a Degenerate Priest

“That night the pardoner and the constable, after supper, sat down to play at cards, and they began to quarrel over the game, and make use of bad language. The pardoner called the constable a thief, and the constable called him a liar.” […]

, , , , , , human-affairs western_europe genre regions16th-century-ad clean honor justice lazarillo religion
Forbidden Love Must Be Atoned

“Thorstein paid to have a stone cell built for each of them and provided whatever else they needed to live. When the stone cells had been built, at an appropriate time and when everything was completed, they gave up their secular lives together of their own free will.” […]

, , , , , , , science viking genre regions14th-century-ad grettir issues justice love marriage religion
An End to the Peace

“Then King Harald sent the man named Herleif, and with him the contingent of Germans, to meet King Hring, and had them set up hazel stakes on the battlefield for him and claim the site of the battled, and pronounce the breaking of peace and friendship.” […]

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Zeus’ Wrath

“He paid the penalty of his arrogance towards the gods, since he was slain by a stroke of lightning and his entire house was submerged in the Alban lake.” […]

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Not Built to Turn the Other Cheek

“But Wallace quickly brought the rascal back,
And there give him the whistle of his plack.
Along his ribs he gave him such a rout,
Till all his entrails and his lungs hung out;” […]

, , , , , , , , britons_celts violence regions genre15th-century-ad celebrity clean gore poetry repost wallace weapons
When Wooing Goes Wrong

“When the last of the men had left, the queen got up. She shaved off all his hair and smeared him with tar. Next, she took a leather sack made for sleeping and placed some clothes in it. After that she grabbed hold of the king and stuffed him into the sack. ” […]

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The Death of Walter Raleigh

“He took a pipe of tobacco a little before he went to the scaffold, which some formal persons were scandalized at, but I think ‘twas well and properly done, to settle his spirits.” […]

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Death with Honor

“Now, at the urging of King Attila, they seized Hogni and cut out his heart. Hogni’s strength was so immense that he laughed while he suffered this torture.” […]

, , , , , , , , , violence western_europe genre regions13th-century-ad celebrity death evil honor issues saga-of-the-volsungs toughness viks
Curse of a Deadbeat Dad

– “How badly do you want your sword back?” said Thurid.
– “I’d much rather lose a fortune than my sword,” replied Geirmund.
– “Then you shall never have it back,” said Thurid. “You have treated us disgracefully, and you will never see me again.” […]

, , , , , , human-affairs viking genre regions13th-century-ad family issues laxdaela-saga loot marriage
The Bishop of Battle

” Then Odo, the good priest, the bishop of Bayeux, galloped up, and said to them, ‘Stand fast! stand fast! be quiet and move not! fear nothing, for if God please, we shall conquer yet.'” […]

, , , , , , , , britons_celts science regions genre12th-century-ad battle celebrity emotions honor morality religion roman-de-rou
A Cat Tricks and is Tricked

“For the old Priest which was so tumbled among them that his face lay upon a boys bare ass, which belike was fallen headlong under him was so astonished; then when the boy (which for fear beshit himself) had raised his face, he neither felt nor smelt it nor removed from him.” […]

, , , , , , britons_celts human-affairs regions genre16th-century-ad animals beware-the-cat clean religion trickery
The Gullible Emperor

“But as he bowed his head and brought his mouth near to the mouth of one of the brothers, this one seized him firmly by the hair and the other brother cut off his head.” […]

, , , , , , greek-and-roman humor regions genre11th-century-ad crime governance john-skylitzes mild trickery
The Sex-Trap

” His wiliness (said these) would be most readily detected, if a fair woman were put in his way in some secluded place, who should provoke his mind to the temptations of love; all men’s natural temper being too blindly amorous to be artfully dissembled, and this passion being also too impetuous to be checked by cunning. ” […]

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Caesar in Battle

“Ceasar’s sword glanced off Nennius’ helmet and cut into his shield so deeply that, when they had to abandon their hand-to-hand fight because of the troops who crowded in on them, the Emperor could not wrench his sword out.” […]

, , , , , , , britons_celts violence regions genre12th-century-ad battle celebrity duel geoffrey-of-monmouth issues repost
Three Kings of Orient Tell Their Tale

“For they said: “If he takes gold, he is an earthly king; if frankincense, a god, if myrrh a healer.” When they had come to the place where the prophet was born, the youngest of the three kings went in alone to see the child.” […]

, , , , , , science orient genre regions14th-century-ad issues legend marco-polo religion repost
First in Power, Last in Anger

“All the Spaniards had been summoned to an assembly at Tarraco and were “jokingly expressing reluctance” – to use Marius Maximums’ actual words – over conscription. ” […]

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An Axe to the Bottle-Back

“. It was very dark and as he was walking down from the boat-shed Thorfinn ran up to him and struck him between the shoulder blades with an axe, which sunk in with a squelch.” […]

, , , , , , humor viking genre regions14th-century-ad grettir issues luck poetry wordplay
Gawain’s Fury

“Then Sir Gawain on his gray steed
Gripped a great spear and speedily spiked him;
Through the guts and gore his weapon glided
Till the sharpened steel sliced into his heart.” […]

, , , , , , , britons_celts violence regions genre15th-century-ad alliterative-morte-darthur celebrity gore horse issues poetry
Wearing the Horns of the Bull

“I declared that I should rejoice to see her go in and out of our patron’s house whenever she liked, as I was convinced of her honesty. So we all three continued to have a good understanding as to this, and have never heard more about it.” […]

, , , , , , human-affairs western_europe genre regions16th-century-ad clean honor lazarillo marriage sex
Follower of a Fickle God

“But since Odin now does not wish to grant me victory; then may he let me fall in the battle with all my host, if he will it not that the Danes have the victory as before. And all the slain that fall on this field, I give to Odin.” […]

, , , , , , , supernatural viking genre regions13th-century-ad battle celebrity clean legend sogubrot tactics
Origins of Spartan Civilization

“The Lacedaemonians, by observing the laws of Lycurgus, from a lowly people grew to be the most powerful among the Greeks and maintained the leadership among the Greek states for over four hundred years, but after that time, as they little by little began to relax each one of the institutions and to turn to luxury and indifference, and as they grew so corrupted as to use coined money and to amass wealth, they lost the leadership.” […]

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The Violent Youth of a Violent Hero

“His dagger with the other hand drew out,
In spite of all his men so throng about,
And boldly without either fear or dread,
Upon the spot he stick’d young Selbie dead.” […]

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Blood on the Battlefield

“Hrolf struck at Orn, but as he tried to ward off the blow with his shield, the sword sliced through, and the point ripped open the whole of his belly so that his guts poured out.” […]

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Shakespeare’s Dramatic Youth

“When he was a boy he exercised his father’s trade, but when he killed a calf he would do it in a high style, and make a speech.” […]

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The Form of a Legendary King

“His neck seemed short and thick and his stomach seemed to project, but the symmetry of the other parts hid these flaws. His pace was firm and the whole bearing of his body powerful. Indeed his voice was clear but, given his size, not as strong as might have been expected.” […]

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Sometimes They Come Back…

“Next morning Olaf went to the place where Hrapp had been buried, and had him dug up. Hrapp’s corpse was still undecayed, and Olaf found his spear-head there. After that he had a pyre built, and Hrapp was burned on it and his ashes were carried out to sea. From that time on no one ever suffered any harm from Hrapp’s hauntings.” […]

, , , , , supernatural viking genre regions13th-century-ad burial issues laxdaela-saga revenant
The Stink of Commerce

““Who ever saw a Roman emperor or his spouse indulging in commerce?” With these words, he gave orders that at that very hour, merely allowing time for the crew to disembark, the ship was to be given to the flames.” […]

, , , , , , , greek-and-roman history regions genre11th-century-ad governance honor john-skylitzes love mild money
The Battle of Hastings

“He raised his shield by the ‘enarmes,’ and struck one of the Englishmen with his lance on the breast, so that the iron passed out at his back. At the moment that he fell, the lance broke, and the Frenchman seized the mace that hung at his right side, and struck the other Englishman a blow that completely fractured his skull.” […]

, , , , , , britons_celts history regions genre12th-century-ad battle clean heroics legend weapons
The Cat Who Caught a Cock

“But I minding another thing, and seeing that scratching could not move him, suddenly I leapt up and caught him by the genitals with my teeth, and bit so hard, that at last he cried out.” […]

, , , , , , , , britons_celts human-affairs regions genre16th-century-ad animals beware-the-cat clean honor sex trickery vulgarity
A Dignified Duel

“Then Horwendil endeavoured to address the king first, asking him in what way it was his pleasure to fight, and declaring that one best which needed the courage of as few as possible. For, said he, the duel was the surest of all modes of combat for winning the meed of bravery, because it relied only upon native courage, and excluded all help from the hand of another.” […]

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Brutus: Founder of Britain

“. It seemed to him that the goddess stood before him and spoke these words to him: “Brutus, beyond the setting of the sun, past the realms of Gaul, there lies an island in the sea, once occupied by giants. Now it is empty and ready for your folk.” […]

, , , , , , , , britons_celts history regions genre12th-century-ad celebrity geoffrey-of-monmouth gods humanoid issues peoples places
Trivia of Dead Worlds: Demosthenes’ Training

Demosthenes was one of the greatest orators of his time, using his profound rhetorical skill …

, knowledge trivia
Trivia of Dead Worlds: Descartes Robot

Rene Descartes is well known as a philosopher and mathematician. He tended to view the …

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Trivia of Dead Worlds: Kidd’s Demise

Captain William Kidd has come down through history as a notorious pirate, but his true …

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Trivia of Dead Worlds: The Last Words of Marie Antoinette

Sentenced to death at a sham trial of revolutionaries, Marie Antoinette delivered a blistering rebuke …

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Trivia of Dead Worlds: Mongol Executions

You might have imagined that Mongol executions were a bloody affair. But you’d be wrong. …

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Trivia of Dead Worlds: Schwedentrunk

[Warning: this is gross]. The Thirty Years War was an exceptionally violent and chaotic event …

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Trivia of Dead Worlds: Mongolian Drinks

The medieval Mongols had a few unusual drinking habits that gave their foreign associates (notably …

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Trivia of Dead Worlds: Killer Kites

Anyone whose ever flown a kite should be familiar with the sickening feeling – however …

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Trivia of Dead Worlds: Winter Campaign

Winter is usually a time when armies disband and wars go on pause. The logistics …

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Trivia of Dead Worlds: Taboo Names

Those who die are dead. As much as we might want them back, there’s generally …

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An Obsession with Feet

” So he asked her to show her leg and foot, and she promptly did so. And without doubt she had a beautiful leg and a beautiful foot, so that you could not ask for greater beauty. And when the master of the shop, who was as virtuous a man as I have described him, saw this woman’s leg and foot, her was forthwith tempted, because his eyes looked on them with pleasure.” […]

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A Righteous Emperor

“Nor would he appoint anyone tribune who did not have a full beard or was not of an age to assume the powers of the tribunate with prudence and maturity.” […]

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The Honor of Audun Chicken

“The Earl said he had no money with him and asked to be able to pay later. Then Asgrim pressed the point of his spear against the Earl’s chest and told him to pay up at once.” […]

, , , , , , humor viking genre regions14th-century-ad grettir honor issues money revenge
King Arthur Vs. the Cannibal Count

“Sinking his sword half a foot through the skin
So the hulk’s blood poured hot across the hilt;
Through the bladder and bowels he drove that blow,
Piercing his privates ripping them apart.” […]

, , , , , , , britons_celts violence regions genre15th-century-ad alliterative-morte-darthur celebrity duel evil gore issues
The Clash of Armies

“Wildly as two winter torrents raging down from the mountains, swirling into a valley, hurl their great waters together, flash floods from the wellsprings plunging down in a gorge and miles away in the hills a shepherd hears the thunder – so from the grinding armies broke the cries and crash of war.” […]

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The Many Uses of Garlic

“It heals the wounds which these animals inflict equally well whether it is applied to them, or taken in food or drink. When taken with honey, it heals the bite of a dog.” […]

, , , , , , , greek-and-roman science regions genre3rd-century-ad animals dogs food medicine mild science
Get Rich Quick or Go Blind Trying

“They all agreed that the counsel was excellent; and casting lots, the chance fell upon the contriver of the expedient; whose eyes they immediately put out.” […]

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The Werewolves of God’s Wrath

“Later these clansmen did suffer a fitting and severe though very marvelous punishment, for it is told that all the members of that clan are changed into wolves for a period and roam through the woods feeding upon the same food as wolves, but they are worse than wolves, for in all their wiles they have the wit of men.” […]

, , , , , , , , , supernatural viking genre regions13th-century-ad animals clean humanoid justice kings-mirror legend repost transformation
The Smell of Royalty

And indeed, I was extremely glad when the fragrance of the king wafted towards me and there was a festival every day because I was so glad. Also the entire country was in awe of my lord when it heard about the sweet fragrance and the kind messenger who had come to me. […]

, , , , , , humor orient genre regions14th-century-bc body clean letters-from-mesopotamia luxury manners
The Origin of Suffering

“Zeus bade famous Hephaestus make haste and mix earth with water and to put in it the voice and strength of human kind, and fashion a sweet, lovely maiden-shape, like to the immortal goddesses in face; and Athene to teach her needlework and the weaving of the varied web; and golden Aphrodite to shed grace upon her head and cruel longing and cares that weary the limbs.” […]

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Persistence and Demon-Summoning

“Faustus, who thought he might have tarried long enough now, considered fleeing from his circle, but finally he regained his godless and reckless resolve and persisted in his former intention, come whatever God might send. He continued to conjure the Devil as before, and the Devil did mystify him.” […]

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A Respectful Difference of Opinion

“It appears that whatever Geoffrey has written either of Arthur, or his successors, or predecessors, is a fiction, invented either by himself or by others, and promulgated either through an unchecked propensity to falsehood, or a desire to please the Britons, of whom vast numbers are said to be so stupid as to assert that Arthur is yet to come.” […]

, , , , , , britons_celts humor regions genre12th-century-ad author celebrity clean legend william-of-newburgh
How to Bury a Zombie

“They rode up along the ridge and came into Thorsdardal, where they broke open Thorolf’s cairn. Thorolf’s body had not decayed but he was very hideous to look at.” […]

, , , , , , , , supernatural viking genre regions13th-century-ad burial eyrbyggja-saga eyri issues repost revenant ritual
How to Shield Your Sins from Demons

“It is worth recording that in Poitou in our own time there was a woman possessed of a devil, which devil used to speak through her mouth, arguing and disputing most cleverly and astutely with intelligent and well-informed people.” […]

, , , , , , britons_celts supernatural regions genre12th-century-ad demon gender gerald-of-wales issues repost
The Abdication of Odin

“But the gods, whose chief seat was then at Byzantium, seeing that Odin had tarnished the fair name of godhead by divers injuries to its majesty, thought that he ought to be removed from their society.” […]

, , , , , , , , , supernatural viking genre regions12th-century-ad crime euhemerism gesta-danorum gods governance honor mild repost
A Wedding for the Ages

“The elephants and musicians, and the various banners of red, white, yellow, and purple silk, made the earth seem like a paradise: with the blare of trumpets and the sound of harps, the squeal of bugles and the ringing of bells, it seemed as if Judgment Day had come.” […]

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Used to be a King Until I Got an Arrow in My Eye

“The archers adopted this scheme, and shot up into the air towards the English; and the arrows in falling struck their heads and faces, and put out the eyes of many; and all feared to open their eyes, or leave their faces unguarded.” […]

, , , , , , britons_celts history regions genre12th-century-ad battle clean gore legend roman-de-rou
Dracula’s Breakfast

“And as the day came, in early morning, he had women and men, young and old, impaled near the chapel and around the hill, and he sat amidst them, and at his morning meal with joy.” […]

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Lady Godiva Bares All

“Mount your horse, and ride naked, before all the people, through the market of the town, from one end to the other, and on your return you shall have your request.” […]

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The Churn of Battle

“Thoas speared him as he swerved and sprang away, the lancehead piercing his chest above the nipple plunged deep in his lung, and Thoas, running up, wrenched the heavy spear from the man’s chest, drew his blade, ripping him across the belly, took his life but he could not strip his armor.” […]

, , , , , , , greek-and-roman violence regions genre8th-century-bc battle gore homer issues loot repost
The Truth About Almonds

“Almonds make one sleepy, provoke urination, and bring on a woman’s period.” […]

, , , , , , , greek-and-roman science regions genre3rd-century-ad animals booze food medicine mild science
Choose Thy Fate Alone

“The other assented, and, by the direction of his friend, proceeded to draw blood from his right arm. “I,” said the latter, “will drink of thy blood, and thou of mine; so that neither in prosperity nor in adversity shall our covenant be broken, and whatsoever the one gains, shall be divided by the other.” The foolish knight agreed; and they ratified the treaty by a draught of each other’s blood.” […]

, , , , , , , , , greek-and-roman science regions genre13th-century-ad clean fool gesta-romanorum justice religion repost ritual wisdom
One Hell of a Pinch

“Then Saint Lawrence gripped Stephen in the side and pinched him very hard.” […]

, , , , , , science viking genre regions13th-century-ad clean justice kings-mirror religion repost
Talking Back to the Boss

“These three men are all drunkards! When they are intoxicated, nobody can make them turn their iron daggers away from an adversary.” […]

, , , , , , , humor orient genre regions7th-century-bc booze clean diplomacy governance humiliation letters-from-mesopotamia
The Five Ages of Men

“Zeus the Father made a third generation of mortal men, a brazen race, sprung from ash-trees; and it was in no way equal to the silver age, but was terrible and strong. They loved the lamentable works of Ares and deeds of violence; they ate no bread, but were hard of heart like adamant, fearful men. Great was their strength and unconquerable the arms which grew from their shoulders on their strong limbs. Their armour was of bronze, and their houses of bronze, and of bronze were their implements.” […]

, , , , , , greek-and-roman supernatural regions genre8th-century-bc clean generations hesiod legend peoples
Demonic Bureaucracy

“Now thou shalt know, Fauste, said the spirit, that among us there is a government and sovereignty, just as on earth, for we have our rulers and governors and servants–of whom I am one–and we call our kingdom Legion. For although the banished devil Lucifer brought about his own fall through vanity and insolence, he raised up a Legion, nevertheless, and a government of devils, and we call him the Oriental Prince, for he had his sovereignty in Ascension.” […]

, , , , , , supernatural western_europe genre regions16th-century-ad clean demon magic ritual the-faust-book
Doubter of Legends

“Indeed, he makes the little finger of his Arthur more powerful than the loins of Alexander the Great.” […]

, , , , , britons_celts science regions genre12th-century-ad author celebrity legend william-of-newburgh
The Curse of the Returned One

THE SCENE: Arnkel thought his life would become easier after the death of his sadistic …

, , , , , , , , supernatural viking genre regions13th-century-ad evil eyrbyggja-saga eyri issues magic repost revenant
A Strangely Insulting Gift

“The Dalmacians, knowing that the Saxons were ready for them, threw them a very fat dog as a gift.” […]

, , , , , humor western_europe genre regions10th-century-ad animals dogs humiliation widukind
The Fate of the Dog-Monkeys

“Again in our time a bitch near here had a litter by a monkey and produced puppies which were ape-like in front but more like a dog behind.” […]

, , , , , , , britons_celts supernatural regions genre12th-century-ad animals evil gerald-of-wales issues monsters repost
Odin Strikes Out

“But no services could assuage the wrath of Rinda; when he was fain to kiss her she cuffed him. For this stubborn-hearted maiden never doubted that the crafty old man was feigning generosity in order to seize an opening to work his lust.” […]

, , , , , , , , , , supernatural viking genre regions12th-century-ad class gender gesta-danorum gods love luxury manners mild repost
Wisdom Wins the Day

“The twelve tall trees, each of which had thirty branches, are the twelve months of the year; twelve times the moon is renewed in her place, like a new king seated on his thrones, and each month has thirty days; this is how time passes.” […]

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A Heroic Last Gamble

“. The duke spurred on his horse, and aimed a blow at him, but he stooped, and so escaped the stroke; then jumping on one side, he lifted his hatchet aloft, and as the duke bent to avoid the blow, the Englishman boldly struck him on the head, and beat in his helmet, though without doing much injury.” […]

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Kill or Be Killed

“But this captain was not able to burn it on account of resistance from the villagers, and then he came back to Dracula and said: ‘I wasn’t able to carry out what you ordered me to do.'” […]

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The Wrath of Odysseus

“Incensed for the dead Odysseus speared him straight through one temple and out the other; punched the sharp bronze point and the dark came swirling thick across his eyes – down he crashed, armor clanging against his chest.” […]

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Crappy Medicine

“So first, take wolf droppings, preferably from a wolf who has eaten bones; enclose them in an earthenware vessel and bind it on the right arm or shoulder.” […]

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Undone by a Bull of his own Making

“The king highly applauded the invention, and said, “Friend, the value of thy industry is yet untried: more cruel even than the people account me, thou thyself shalt be the first victim.”” […]

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The Role of a King

“Nevertheless, a king must be allowed to seek diversion now and then, either with hawks, hounds, horses, or weapons, so that his health and agility at arms or in any form of warfare may be preserved.” […]

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Destroyed with a Tablet

Why do you not write me any letters, why do you not send me any oral message? Isn’t it in reality because people might say: “Perhaps that one [i.e. the writer of this letter] is higher in rank than she.” […]

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A Time of Desolation

“Then the horned and unhorned denizens of the wood, with teeth chattering pitifully, flee through the copses and glades, and all, as they seek shelter, have this one care, to gain thick coverts or some hollow rock. Then, like the Three-legged One whose back is broken and whose head looks down upon the ground, like him, I say, they wander to escape the white snow.” […]

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A Damned Contract

“When these two wicked parties contracted with one another , Doctor Faustus took a penknife, pricked open a vein in his left hand, drained his blood into a crucible, set it on some hot coals and wrote as here followeth.” […]

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A Puissant Priest

Once, indeed, it happened that this pontiff, meeting with a repulse from the king relative to some petition which he had urged, angrily turned his back in retiring, and threatened him with a curse instead of a blessing. The king, unable to bear his displeasure, fell at his feet, entreating forgiveness, and promising amendment.” […]

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Death Comes for Arnkel

When Snorri and his men arrive at the haystack, it is not mentioned that they exchanged any words. They launched their attack at once, mostly with spears, and Arnkel defended himself with the running-blade of his sled. […]

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Portrait of a Great King

“In hunting he was most keen, and on one occasion he caught forty or more wild animals; and although at the banquet he was jovial enough, he never diminished anything of his regal demeanor.” […]

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Opening Arthur’s Tomb

“Beneath it there was a stone slab, with a leaden cross attached to its underside. I have seen this cross myself and I have traced the lettering which read as follows: HERE IN THE ISLE OF AVALON LIES BURIED THE RENOWNED KING ARTHUR, WITH GUINERERE, HIS SECOND WIFE.” […]

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Death by Celebration

“For whilst, in great jubilation of spirit, he was honouring the funeral rites of Rolf with a feast, he drank too greedily.” […]

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Effortless Dragonslaying

“. Its spittle burned vultures’ wings, its venom scorched the earth; it snatched monsters from the sea and eagles from the air; the earth was emptied of people and flocks, every living thing retreated before it. When I saw that no one dared oppose it, I emptied my heart of fear and bound on my sword in God’s name.” […]

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The Last King of the Angles

“Gurth saw the English falling around, and that there was no remedy. He saw his race hastening to ruin, and despaired of any aid; he would have fled, but could not, for the throng continually increased.” […]

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A Focus on Torture

“And thus he had the people scream miserably until they were boiled to death.” […]

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Homer’s Poetry of Battle

“Paris sprang from the Trojan forward ranks, a challenger, lithe, magnificent as a god, the skin of a leopard slung across his shoulders, a reflex bow at his back and battle-sword at his and brandishing two sharp spears tipped in bronze he strode forth, challenging all the Argive best to fight him face-to-face in mortal combat.” […]

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The Kingdom of the Body

“The head is an empire, the stomach a kingdom, the belly a hovel, but the bladder is a hired hand.” […]

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A Satiated Tyrant

“For by driving away the flies now saturated with my blood, I should afford an opportunity to those that were empty and hungry to supply their place. ” […]

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Humble Servants of the King

“Some prefer being at court to living in the country (though in the king’s service their labor is as burdensome, or more so) because, though they are of excellent kinship, they have little wealth and cannot engage in trade on account of their poverty.” […]

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A King and his Chum

“In reply to Your Majesty’s writing to me concerning the white ceremonial robes: “How many days should I keep on wearing them?” the king should wear them on the 20th and the 21st; two days are more than enough. On the 22nd he can dress normally.” […]

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Summertime… and the Living’s Easy

“But at that time let me have a shady rock, then also let me drink bright wine, sitting in the shade, when my heart is satisfied with food, and so, turning my head to face the fresh wind.” […]

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A Soul Sold Cheaply

“He likewise enjoyed cooked fare every day, for he was so cunning in sorcery that when he opened a window and named some fowl he desired, it came flying right in through the window. His spirit also brought him cooked meat of a most princely sort from the courts of the nobility in all territories round about.” […]

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No Respect in Death

“After every gentle shower, there exudes real, and as it were recent, blood, as though it were evidently proclaiming by this circumstance, that the voice of so much Christian gore still cries to the Lord from the ground, which hath opened her mouth, and drunk in that blood at the hands of Christian brethren.” […]

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Misplaced Priorities

“They went inside after they had finished unloading the hay, and took off their leather cloaks. Arnkel’s followers woke up and asked them where he was. It was as if the slave awoke from a dream, and he replied: “The truth is, he must be fighting Snorri the Godi at Orlygstadir now.”” […]

, , , , , , humor viking genre regions13th-century-ad class eyrbyggja-saga eyri honor issues
An Army of Thieves

“Hence, whenever he saw anyone who was a thief or a robber, but who was strong of arm and well-suited to warfare, he forgave him his just punishment, and sent him to the suburbs of Merseberg, where he distributed lands and arms, ordering these men to commit no depredations on their fellow-citizens but to practice their robberies upon the barbarians as much as they dared.” […]

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Demonic Efficiency

“When he left they questioned him closely and asked him who he really was. He said that he had been born to some rustic bedlam in the same parish, fathered on her by an incubus who had appeared in the shape of her husband.” […]

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The Revenge of a Scorned God

“However, Thor was swinging his club with marvellous might, and shattered all interposing shields, calling as loudly on his foes to attack him as upon his friends to back him up. No kind of armour withstood his onset, no man could receive his stroke and live.” […]

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The Light Shall Drive Out the Dark

“The sky was clouded by the cavalry’s dust, and swords glittered in the dark like lightning; it was as if the air itself caught fire, flashing like diamonds and burning the ground. The din of weapons deafened the fighters, and fire ascended to the heavens.” […]

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A Picture of Victory

“You are surely not fitly placed here among the dead. Many an Englishman lies bloody and mingled with the dead, but yet sound, or only wounded and besmeared with gore; tarrying of his own accord, and meaning to rise at night, and escape in the darkness. They would delight to take their revenge, and would sell their lives dearly; no one of them caring who killed him afterwards, if he but slew a Norman first; for they say we have done them much wrong.” […]

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Violence Over Love

“The famous spearman struck behind his skull, just at the neck-cord, the razor spear slicing straight up through the jaws, cutting away the tongue. He sank in the dust, teeth clenching the cold bronze.” […]

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Sex Berries

“There is an extraordinarily tall story to the effect that if one covers the penis with it before intercourse, it acts as a contraceptive.” […]

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The Devil You Know

“”When I was a girl, and governed by a tyrant, I wished for his removal, and presently we obtained a worse instead. Having got rid of him, a worse still succeeded.” […]

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Lucifer Makes His Move

“”Inasmuch as I am now an invisible spirit, I cannot visibly come to have speech with physical man, unless I adorn my ugly countenance with a certain corporeal beauty. I shall therefore enter this serpent which God has created with the face of a maiden and which most resembles man in beauty; and I shall speak with his tongue to Eve.” […]

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A Gods Daily Routine

“On the eleventh Nabu comes out to have some exercise; he goes to the park, and kills there wild bulls. He then returns and tales his (usual) place. He then blesses the king.” […]

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The Ocean Gives and Takes Away

“One day our father came to this very place crossing over a great stretch of sea; he left Aeolian Cyme and fled, not from riches and substance, but from wretched poverty which Zeus lays upon men, and he settled near Helicon in a miserable hamlet, Ascra, which is bad in winter, sultry in summer, and good at no time.” […]

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Edward Coke

The house of every man is to him as his castle and fortress. – Edward …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Plutarch

The measure of a man is the way he bears up under misfortune. – Plutarch, …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Sallust

They envy the distinction I have won; let them therefore, envy my toils, my honesty, …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Tacitus

It belongs to human nature to hate those you have injured. – Tacitus, 1st Century …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Tacitus

It belongs to human nature to hate those you have injured. – Tacitus, 1st Century …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Tacitus

To ravage, to slaughter, to usurp under false titles, they call empire, and where they …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Cato the Younger

I begin to speak only when I’m certain what I’ll say isn’t better left unsaid. …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Cato the Elder

Wise men learn more from fools than fools from the wise. – Cato the Elder, …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Cicero

Glory follows virtue as if it were its shadow. – Cicero, 1st Century BC

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Cicero

If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need. – Cicero, …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Cicero

A room without books is like a body without a soul. – Cicero, 1st Century …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Erasmus

The summit of happiness is reached when a person is ready to be what he …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Erasmus

When I get a little money I buy books; and if any is left I …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Erasmus

In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. – Desiderius Erasmus, 16th …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Homer

The difficulty is not so great to die for a friend, as to find a …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Homer

Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Virgil

Fortune favors the bold. – Virgil, 1st Century BC

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Dante Aligheri

The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Seneca

All cruelty springs from weakness. – Seneca, 1st Century AD

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Seneca

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. – Seneca, 1st Century AD

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Seneca

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. – Seneca, 1st Century AD

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Marcus Aurelius

Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one. – …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Marcus Aurelius

Death smiles at us all, but all a man can do is smile back. – …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Socrates

An unexamined life is not worth living. – Socrates, 4th Century BC

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Socrates

An unexamined life is not worth living. – Socrates, 4th Century BC

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Socrates

Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel. – Socrates, …

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A Devilish Alternative to Marriage

“If thou canst not live chastely, then will I lead to thy bed any day or night whatever woman thou seest in this city or elsewhere. Whosoever might please thy lust, and whomever thou might desire in lechery, she shall abide with thee in such a figure and form.” […]

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The Archbishop Who Refused to Have Sex

“When confined by sickness, he was ordered by his physicians, as the sole means of removing his disorder, to partake of sexual intercourse. His friends pressed him to comply, alleging that God could not possibly be offended, as he did it merely as a remedy, and not for sensual gratification.” […]

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Rest Not in Peace

“As the summer passed, they became aware that Thorolf was not resting in peace. People could never go outside in peace once the sun had set. As well as that, the oxen that had hauled Thorolf to his grave had been ridden by trolls, and all livestock which came anywhere near Thorolf’s cairn ran wild and bellowed themselves to death.” […]

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Alternative Justice Through Jousting

“But the king listened to wiser counsel, and was unwilling that the noblemen and elders of the people should be thus inconvenienced, and so he decreed that the matter should be decided by a tourney. ” […]

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Plato

The first and greatest victory is to conquer yourself; to be conquered by yourself is …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Plato

Only the dead have seen the end of war. – Plato, 4th Century BC

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Aristotle

A friend to all is a friend to none. – Aristotle, 4th Century BC

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Aristotle

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Leonardo Da Vinci

Nothing can be loved or hated unless it is first understood. – Leonardo Da Vinci, …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Leonardo Da Vinci

Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence. – Leonardo Da Vinci, 16th Century AD

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Leonardo Da Vinci

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. – Leonardo Da Vinci, 16th Century AD

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Baruch Spinoza

All things excellent are as difficult as they are rare. – Baruch Spinoza, 17th Century …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: William Blake

If the fool would persist in his folly he would become wise. – William Blake, …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: William Blake

A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees. – William Blake, …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: William Blake

The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom. – William Blake, Proverbs of …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: William Blake

You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough. – …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: William Blake

If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, …

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Thomas Bacon

Money makes a good servant, but a bad master. – Thomas Bacon

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Francis Bacon

Knowledge is Power. – Francis Bacon, Meditationes Sacrae

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Wisdom of Dead Worlds: Friedrich Nietzsche

Without music life would be a mistake. – Friedrich Nietzsche, Maxims and Arrows

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