THE SCENE: In the ninth century, a bloody religious dispute broke out in the Byzantine empire between those who revered religious images (iconodules) and those who hate any religious images (iconoclasts). The passage below provides an example of the absurdity of such controversies, given that life-and-death hang on a fool’s description of certain dolls.
THE TEXT: A similar occurrence also befell the empress Theodora herself. There was a pitiful fellow living at the palace, a eunuch named Denderis. He said such odd things that people laughed at him; he was maintained in the palace to entertain people. Now one day he burst into the empress’ boudoir and surprised her kissing the sacred icons. When the fool saw them he asked what they were, and he came nearer to find out. Speaking like a peasant, the empress said: “These are my pretty dolls and I love them very much”.
The emperor, who was at table when this deformed young man came to him, and asked him where he had been. The eunuch replied that he had been with “mama”, for that is what he called Theodora; also that he had seen her taking pretty dolls from under her pillow in her chamber. The emperor took the point: in great wrath he left the table and went to her immediately. He hurdled verbal abuse at her, calling her (with his unbridled tongue), among other things, idolatress, repeating as he did so what the deformed one had said. The empress, meanwhile, placating the emperor’s wrath, said: “O, emperor, you have misunderstood; the truth is not as you perceive it. I was looking at myself in the mirror, attended by my handmaids. Denderis saw the faces reflected in it and, from that, he witlessly came and reported to you what you said.” With these words, she assuaged the emperor’s wrath. She condemned Denderis to a suitable punishment, convincing him never again to say anything about the dolls to anybody. So that once when Theophilos was infuriated with the Sovereign Lady, and asked Denderis whether “mama” was still kissing her pretty dolls, setting his hand to his lips, the fellow replied: “Hush emperor, hush! Not a word about the dolls!” That is how this matter went.
– John Skylitzes, Synopsis of Histories, 11th Century AD
