THE SCENE: A legal dispute concerning marriage in medieval Spain degenerates into a beard-measuring contest.
THE TEXT: Count Garcia (Ordonez) rose to his feet and said: “Give me leave to speak, O King, greatest in all Spain. The Cid is used to attending meetings of this solemn court of justice; he allowed his beard to grow long to strike terror in the hearts of all. The lords of Carrion are of such noble lineage that they should not consider his daughters fit to be their concubines. Who gave them to them as lawful wedded wives? They did right in deserting them. We care nothing for his accusations.
At this the [Cid] grasped his beard and answered: “Thanks be to almighty God, it is long because it had had much loving care lavished on it. What reproach can you cast on my head? All my life it has been my chief delight. No woman’s son has ever plucked it and no one, Moor or Christian, ever tore it – as happened to yours, Count, in the castle of Cabra. When I took Cabra and plucked your beard, the piece that I pulled out has still not grown ever again.
– The Song of the Cid, 12th Century AD
