THE SCENE: How do you move on with your life after everybody knows you as the guy who farted in front of the queen?
THE TEXT: This earl of Oxford [Edward de Vere], making of his low obeisance to queen Elizabeth, happened to let a fart, at which he was so abashed that he went to travel seven years. On his return the queen welcomed him home and said, “My lord, I had forgot the fart”.
– Brief Lives, John Aubrey, 17th Century AD
” Then Odo, the good priest, the bishop of Bayeux, galloped up, and said to them, ‘Stand fast! stand fast! be quiet and move not! fear nothing, for if God please, we shall conquer yet.'” […]
“Caught taking part in this terrible ploy, he was mercifully condemned to losing his eyes and genitals when he deserved to be choked to death by a noose.” […]
“They warm them to extreme heat, then undress, and after anointing themselves with an acid liquid, they take young branches and lash their bodies.” […]
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