THE SCENE: How do you move on with your life after everybody knows you as the guy who farted in front of the queen?
THE TEXT: This earl of Oxford [Edward de Vere], making of his low obeisance to queen Elizabeth, happened to let a fart, at which he was so abashed that he went to travel seven years. On his return the queen welcomed him home and said, “My lord, I had forgot the fart”.
– Brief Lives, John Aubrey, 17th Century AD