Humor

Crabs in a Bucket

“I was seated on the ground, taking in those delicious draughts, my face turned up to heaven, my eyes half closed the better to enjoy the toothsome liquor, when the wicked blind man took his revenge. He raised the jug with both hands, and, with all his might, sent it crashing down on my mouth.” […]

Human Affairs

In the Belly of the Metaphorical Whale

“At this time an old woman came in and dressed my wound. Then the neighbours began to take off the bandages. They rejoiced when they saw that I had recovered my senses and began to laugh over my misfortunes while I, as the sinner, mourned over them.” […]

Humor

The Chains of Etiquette

“You are only a boy,” he replied, “and cannot understand the things appertaining to honor in which, at the present time, is all the wealth of respectable people. You must remember that I am, as you know, an esquire. I swear to God that if I met a count in the street and he did not salute me, I would not salute him if I met him again.” […]

Human Affairs

Working is Hard to Stomach

“Such lords do not want to see virtuous men in their houses. On the contrary, they hate and despise them, calling them useless and unacquainted with business. I do not wish to trust my fortunes with such people.” […]

Human Affairs

Enemy to the Human Race?

“ere was no remedy, for if on the days of the funerals I lived, on the days when no one died I was starving, and I felt it all the more. So that there seemed to be no rest for me but in death, and I often desired it for myself, as well as for others.” […]

Human Affairs

A Bad Life Gets Worse

“At that time a blind man came to lodge at the inn, who, seeing that I would do to lead him, asked for me from my mother. She gave me to him, saying that I was the son of a good father, and boasting that he had been killed at the Island of Gelves.” […]

Human Affairs

#BeggarHacks

“Speaking of the good there was in my blind man, your Honour must know that since God created the world He has not made a being more astute and sagacious.” […]

Medieval Mentality

Tricks of a Charlatan Priest

“My master raised his hands to heaven, and turned his eyes up until scarcely anything could be seen but the whites. He prayed to the Lord not to require the death of the sinner, but rather to give his life back.” […]