Humor

Pleeease Give me More Gold?

“Indeed if there is much gold (in Egypt), do send me as much as your fathers did. In case there is little gold, send me half of what your fathers did, but why in the world did you send only two pounds of gold to me?” […]

Human Affairs

Conversion by the Sword

“Now I’m going to present you with two extremely unequal options. The better one is that you convert to the true faith and be baptized. If you are unwilling to do this, then the other option is that we’ll kill you right here and now.” […]

Britons and Celts

A Spurned Ultimatum

“Think not, O Caesar, that thou canst entice us, like children, by the blandishments of cajolery like this – that thou canst succeed in leading us astray, leaving the pleasant and noble road of freedom, our birthright, a road wherein our fathers were ever wont to walk straight forwards.” […]

Humor

Destroyed with a Tablet

Why do you not write me any letters, why do you not send me any oral message? Isn’t it in reality because people might say: “Perhaps that one [i.e. the writer of this letter] is higher in rank than she.” […]

Human Affairs

The Mask of Civility Slips

“And then the king must not consider it a crime of mine when I will not eat with them, nor drink water with them, nor even rise before your Messenger, not inquire of him about Your Majesty’s health, when they come here.” […]