Humor

Crabs in a Bucket

“I was seated on the ground, taking in those delicious draughts, my face turned up to heaven, my eyes half closed the better to enjoy the toothsome liquor, when the wicked blind man took his revenge. He raised the jug with both hands, and, with all his might, sent it crashing down on my mouth.” […]

Britons and Celts

A Critique of Style

“Overcoats have sleeves reaching down to the hells
Which you could easily wind three times round your arms.
You could wipe you bottom with them instead of rags
In the toilet without doubt.” […]

Humor

The Chains of Etiquette

“You are only a boy,” he replied, “and cannot understand the things appertaining to honor in which, at the present time, is all the wealth of respectable people. You must remember that I am, as you know, an esquire. I swear to God that if I met a count in the street and he did not salute me, I would not salute him if I met him again.” […]

Human Affairs

Working is Hard to Stomach

“Such lords do not want to see virtuous men in their houses. On the contrary, they hate and despise them, calling them useless and unacquainted with business. I do not wish to trust my fortunes with such people.” […]

Human Affairs

Enemy to the Human Race?

“ere was no remedy, for if on the days of the funerals I lived, on the days when no one died I was starving, and I felt it all the more. So that there seemed to be no rest for me but in death, and I often desired it for myself, as well as for others.” […]

Human Affairs

A Bad Life Gets Worse

“At that time a blind man came to lodge at the inn, who, seeing that I would do to lead him, asked for me from my mother. She gave me to him, saying that I was the son of a good father, and boasting that he had been killed at the Island of Gelves.” […]

Human Affairs

Medieval Labor Relations

” One morning he went off with Atli’s farmhands and worked like a man with a thousand hands. Ali kept this up through the summer. Atli ignored him, but had him fed because he approved of the work he was doing.” […]