“Sir Thomas Moore’s discourse was extraordinarily facetious. Riding one night, upon the sudden, he crossed himself with a great cross, crying out, “Jesu Maria! Do you not see that prodigious dragon in the sky?”” […]
“One time at a tavern Sir Walter Raleigh beat him and sealed up his mouth (i.e. his upper and nether beard) with hard wax.” […]
“Sir Walter Raleigh ordered him to carry up the first dish at dinner, where the queen beheld him with admiration, as if a beautiful young giant had stalked in with the service.” […]
“I, this morning, not having the fear of God before my eyes but by the instigation of the devil, went to a whore.” […]
“The king was mighty inquisitive to know who this Raeph was. Ben told him ‘twas the artist at the Swan tavern, by Charing Cross, who drew him a good canary.” […]
“They alighted out of the coach, and went into a woman woman’s house at the bottom of Highgate Hill, and bought a hen, and make the woman exenterate [disembowel] it, and then stuff the body with snow.” […]
“When the stallions were to leap the mares, they were to be brought before such a part of the house, where she had a vidette (a hole to peep out at) to look on them.” […]
On his return the queen welcomed him home and said, “My lord, I had forgot the fart”. […]
“When Thomas Hobbes did drink, he would drink to excess to have the benefit of vomiting, which he did easily; by which benefit neither his wit was disturbed longer than he was spewing.” […]
“He took a pipe of tobacco a little before he went to the scaffold, which some formal persons were scandalized at, but I think ‘twas well and properly done, to settle his spirits.” […]
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