THE SCENE: The sex lives of young French bourgeoise is by turns hilarious, disgusting, and romantic.
THE TEXT:
This fabliau’s a courtly one
About a youth, a burgher’s son,
Who married a proper and nice
Girl on his family’s advice
He loved her well and tirelessly.
They’d but been married recently,
And he so loved her that she could
Have made him keel over if she would.
He made her his queen and he spoke
Often about what pains he took.
They were lying in bed one day,
Cavorting lustily at play.
She, pleased with the festivities,
Said to the doing fellow, “Please,
Let’s think up names to give my dear,
To your thing there and my cunt here.”
“It’s only right that you,” says he,
“decide what both their names shall be.
Call then whatever pleases you.”
“Sir,” she says, “it would please me to
Give the name Piggie to my cunt,
Because I’m never clean in front.
I don’t know what to call your thing.
It shall be christened Wheat, I think,
For it’s a pretty name.” “That’s fine
By me,” he says, “that name for mine
If that’s your pleasure, I concur.”
“Now, if you’ve no objection, sir,
My Piggie here would like to eat.
Do not be stingy with your Wheat
Which is so good, with Piggie, please.”
“Lady,” he said, “what’s mine is his.”
– Piggie, 13th Century AD
