Rockstar of the Dark Ages

THE SCENE: It is perhaps the dream of every young knight to become well-known enough that random queens will travel across Europe just for a chance to have sex with you.

THE TEXT: Lying thus, he looked downriver and saw two damsels coming, more beautiful than any he had ever seen; they were richly dressed in closely fitting tunics of dark purple and their faces were very beautiful. The older one carried dishes of gold, well and finely made – I will not fail to tell you the truth – and the other carried a towel.

They greeted him and then delivered their message: “Sir Lanval, my damsel, who is very worthy, wise and fair, has sent us for you. Come with us, for we will conduct you safely. Look, her tent is near.”  The knight went with them. They led him to the tent, which was so beautiful and well-appointed that neither Queen Semiramis at the height of her wealth of her wealth, power and knowledge, nor the Emperor Octavian, could have afforded even the right-hand side of it.

Inside this tent was the maiden who surpassed in beauty the lily and the new rose when it appears in summer. She lay on a very beautiful bed – the coverlets cost as much as a castle – clad only in her shift. Her body was well formed and handsome. Her side was uncovered, as well as her face, neck and breast; she was whiter than the hawthorn blossom.

The maiden called the knight, who came forward and sat before the bed. “Lanval,” she said, “fair friend, for you I came from my country. I have come far in search of you and if you are worth and courtly, no emperor, count or king will have felt as much joy or happiness as you, for I love you above all else.” He looked at her and saw that she was beautiful. Love’s spark pricked him so that his heart was set alight, and his heart was set alight, and he replied to her in seemly manner: Fair lady, I shall do as you bid and abandon all others for you. I never want to leave you and this is what I most desire.” When the girl heard these words from the man who loved her so, she granted him her love and her body. Now Lanval was on the right path!

– Bisclavret, Marie de France, 12th Century AD