THE SCENE: When the Christian King Olaf (disguised as a man named Grímur) meets a group of rural peasants, he finds that they haven’t given up all their pagan ways. Especially when they start passing around a dried horse’s cock (called Volsi) at grace.
THE TEXT: Then things were readied for a meal, a table pulled forth, and food served. The farmer’s daughter sat beside her brother, the slave-woman beside the slave. The three men named Grímur all sat together. The old woman was the last to arrive, carrying Völsi in her arms, and approached her husband’s seat. She is not said to have greeted the visitors. She unwrapped Völsi, placed him on her husband’s knees, and recited this verse:
Enlarged art thou, Völsi,
and raised aloft,
enriched with linen,
supported by leeks.
May giantesses
accept this holy object,
but now, my husband,
you must accept Völsi.
The farmer responded coldly, but accepted it anyway, and recited a verse:
Were I in charge,
this object of worship
would not be presented
on this evening.
May giantesses
accept this holy object,
but now, my son,
take care of Völsi.
The farmer’s son grasped Völsi, cocked it up, handed it to his sister, and recited:
May your bridesmaids
bring you a cock.
They will make the prick
wet tonight.
May giantesses
accept this holy object,
but now, farmer’s daughter,
pull Völsi into your embrace.
She was far from enthusiastic, but was bound to follow the custom of the house. She handled the object hesitantly, but spoke a verse all the same:
I swear by Gefjun
and the other gods
that against my will
do I touch this red proboscis.
May giantesses
accept this holy object,
but now, slave of my parents,
grab hold of Völsi.
The slave-woman took it tenderly into her hands, embraced it and stroked it, and uttered this verse:
Surely I would not be able
to overcome the temptation
of thrusting you into myself,
if we were lying alone,
pleasuring one another.
May giantesses
accept this holy object,
but you, Grímur, our guest,
get a hold on Völsi.
The king took it, and recited a verse:
I have been a helmsman
and a forecastle-man
and a leader
of all the troops.
May giantesses
accept this holy object,
but you, dog of the household,
take charge of this monstrosity!
He then threw the thing onto the floor, where the bitch instantly caught it.
– The Tale of Volsi, 14th Century AD
