THE SCENE: Panicking under the effects of a strange potion (comprised of lozenges and inhalants) that he had created, Master Streamer exhibits all the classic signs of a hallucinatory trip gone wrong.
THE TEXT: Taking my leave of them as though I would to bed straight, I went into my chamber, for it was past nine of the clock, and because the hour of Saturn’s cold dominion approached, I put on my gown and snuck off to the place in the which I had viewed the Cats the night before. And when I had settled myself where I might conveniently hear and see all things done. I put in to my two nostrils two inhalants, and in to my mouth two lozenges, one above my tongue the other under, and put off my left shoe and laid the fox tail under my foot.
And to hear the better, I then listened and viewed as attentively as I could, but I warrant you my ears carried the sounds to the senses, whether stroke with breath of living creatures which we call voices, or with the moving of dead, as winds, waters, trees, carts, falling of stones and which are named noises, sounded so shrill in my head by reverberation that the sound of them altogether was so disordered and monstrous that I could discern no one from other, save only the Harmony of the moving of the Spheres, which noise excelled all other as much both in pleasantness and shrill highness of sound.
While I listened to this cacophony, laboring to discern both voices and noises a sunder, I heard such a mixture as I think was never in Chaucers house of fame, for there was nothing within an hundred mile of me done on any side, but I heard it as well as if I had been by it, and could discern all voices, but by means of noises understand none. One shrewd wife a great way off called her husband Cuckold so loud and shrilly: that I heard that plain.
While I was earnestly harkening to hear the woman (minding nothing else) the greatest bell in Saint Botolph’s steeple, which is nearby, was tolled, the sound whereof came with such a rumble into mine ear that I thought all the devils in hell had broken loose, and were come about me, and was so afraid there with that when I felt the Fox tail under my foot (which through fear I had forgotten) I deemed it had been the devil indeed. And therefore I cried out as loud as ever I could: “the devil, the devil, the devil.” But when some of the folk raised with my noise had sought me in my chamber and found me not there they went seeking about calling one to another, “where is he? where is he? I cannot finde Master Streamer,” which noise and stir of them was so great in mine ears, and passing man’s common sound that I thought they had been devils indeed which sought and asked for me. Wherefore I crept close in to a corner in the chimney and hid me, saying many good prayers, to save me from them. And because their noise was so terrible that I could not abide it, I thought best to stop mine ears, thinking thereby I should be the less afraid.
And as I was there about, a crow which belike was by nodding asleep on the chimney top, fell down into the chimney over my head, whose flittering in the fall made such a noise, that when I felt his feet upon my head I thought that the devil had been come indeed and seized upon me. And when I cast up my hand to save me and therewith touched him, he called me knave in his language after such a sort that I swooned for fear. And by that I was come to myself again he was flown from me into the chamber roof and there he sat all night. Then took I my pillows and stopped mine ears, for the rumble that the servants made I took for the devils it was so great and shrill, and I had no sooner put them on, but by and by I heard it was the servants which sought for me and that I was deceived through my clearness in hearing. For the bell which put me in all this fear (for which I never loved bells since) tolled still, and I perceived well enough what it was. And seeing that the servants would not leave calling and seeking till they had found me, I went down unto them, and feigned that a Cat had been in my chamber, and frightened me, whereupon they went to bed again, and I to mine old place.
– Beware the Cat, William Baldwin, 16th Century AD
