THE SCENE: This passage, written by Notker the Stammer, seems to imply that in the age of Charlemagne, being well groomed implied such a corrupt character that it invited death.
THE TEXT: There was a deacon who followed the custom of those beyond the Alps and resisted the course of nature. For he went to the baths and had himself closely shaved, polished his skin, cleaned his nails, and had his hair cut very short as if it had been done by a lathe. Then he put on linen undergarments and a very white shirt, and then, because he must not miss his turn, or rather desiring to make a fine show, he proceeded to read the Gospel before God and His holy angels, and in the presence of the most watchful king; his heart in the meantime being unclean, as events were to show. For while he was reading, a spider came down from the ceiling by a thread, hooked itself on to the deacon’s head, and then ran up again. The most observant Charles saw this happen a second and a third time, but pretended not to notice it, and the cleric, because of the emperor’s presence, dare not keep the spider off with his hand, and moreover did not know that it was a spider attacking him, but thought that he was being tickled by flies. So he finished the reading of the Gospel, and also went through the rest of the office. But when he left the cathedral he soon began to swell up, and died within an hour. But the most devout Charles, inasmuch as he had seen his danger and had not prevented it, thought himself guilty of manslaughter and did public penance.
– Gesta Karoli, Notker the Stammer, 9th Century AD
