Humor
Smell of a Virgin
“Walter steadies himself and butts
In almost burying his nuts,
And with such vigor plays his part
That from her ass comes a large fart.” […]
Western Europe
Violence
Angels on the Battlefield
“When he hears the angel’s blessed voice, King Charles no longer is in fear or dread of death. His mind clears and his energy returns. With France’s sword he smashes the emir. He bursts apart the casque where jewels blaze, then cleaves his skull – the brains come spilling out – his face, clear down into his whitish beard, and throws him down, a corpse beyond recall.” […]
Humor
Sex Lives of the French Bourgeoise
Cavorting lustily at play.
She, pleased with the festivities,
Said to the doing fellow, “Please,
Let’s think up names to give my dear,
To your thing there and my cunt here.” […]
Human Affairs
The Real Housewives of Medieval France
“What? I in love?” he tells her. “Hardly!
I find your jealousy ungodly.
I’m nearly dead from making love,
And this is all you’re thinking of!” […]
Humor
A Pussy for a Birdie
–“What are you asking for it, tell?”
–“My lady, for a fuck it’s yours.”
–“Saint Peter help me now, because
I haven’t any fuck to trade!” […]
Humor
The Power of a Fart
“The imp came to the gates of Hell
Toting both bag and fart as well,
And tossing the bag down when he entered,
And thereupon the fart was vented.” […]
Violence
An Unholy War
Nor was God’s anger withheld from the punishment of these proud and corrupted people; for frequently, as it is said, torrents of unseasonable rain from on high destroyed more of our troops than the sword of the enemy had devoured.” […]
Human Affairs
A Medieval Heartbreaker
“They all had such great merit that she was unable to choose the best, yet she did not wish to lose all three in order to retain just one.” […]
Violence
Death Before Minor Shame
“Almighty God forbid, and all His angels, that France should lose her fame because of me! I’d much prefer to die than come to shame; for fighting well, the emperor will love us.” […]
History
Cleanliness Goes Before A Fall
“For while he was reading, a spider came down from the ceiling by a thread, hooked itself on to the deacon’s head, and then ran up again. The most observant Charles saw this happen a second and a third time, but pretended not to notice it.” […]