Greek and Roman

Luxury-Loving People

“He remarked after a visit to Sparta that he used to wonder at the bravery of the Spartans, but that now, after witnessing what a frugal and utterly miserable life they led, he could only conclude that they were no better than the lowest of men.” […]

Greek and Roman

Strange Punishments for Everyday Crimes

“When the facts had been established, he ordered two oxen of extraordinary size to be cut open suddenly, while still alive, and the soldiers to be thrust one into each, with their heads protruding so that they could talk to each other. ” […]

Greek and Roman

The Death of Remus

A second time Remus cast insults at the labourers, and said they were making the ditch too narrow. “Why, enemies will get over it with no trouble; see, I can do it myself, easily.” And with these words he leaped over it. A certain Celer, one of the labourers, answered him, “I will exact vengeance of the man who jumps over the ditch, even as the king commanded.” […]

Greek and Roman

The Law of Return

“If any Russ be taken prisoner by the Greeks, he shall likewise be sent back to his native land, and his purchase price shall be repaid, as has been stipulated, according to his value.” […]

Greek and Roman

A Fanciful Emperor & Good Companion

“He made a habit of propounding problems to grammarians, asking them to say what sounds different animals make, for example: lambs bleat, pigs grunt, doves coo, bears growl, lions roar, leopards snarl, elephants trumpet, frogs croak, horses neigh, bulls bellow – and he would confirm these from old writers.” […]

Greek and Roman

Dangerous Dolls

“Once when Theophilos was infuriated with his wife, and asked the court fool whether “mama” was still kissing her pretty dolls, setting his hand to his lips, the fellow replied: “Hush emperor, hush! Not a word about the dolls!”” […]

Greek and Roman

The Grasping Goes Too Far

“When the accused saw her, he was thunderstruck and stood there, speechless, for some time. Then he just managed to regain enough of his composure to embrace the emperor’s feet in tears and become a humble petitioner.” […]

Greek and Roman

The Controversial Image of God

“The fire devoured his flesh to the point at which the athlete lost consciousness and lay half-dead. But the grace of God must have determined that he survive to be a spark [to ignite] those who would come after.” […]

Greek and Roman

A Ban on Good Hair

“So he published an edict that everywhere men should cut their hair close to the skin and that no Roman should be permitted to wear his hair below the neck.” […]

Greek and Roman

The Fighting Eunuch

“The emperor took exception to this: “Could you do anything like that, you effeminate gelding?” “Having never learnt to operate two lances, emperor, I cannot,” Krateros replied; “nor is there any need of such foolishness in war.”” […]