Britons and Celts
A Bloody Battle in Ballad
“Such deeds were wrought, as truly ‘twere a crime,
Them to describe in our unlearned rhyme.
How arms met arms, and swords went clishy clash.
For rural lays to sing would be too rash.” […]
Britons and Celts
Britons and Celts
Scandalous Stallions
“When the stallions were to leap the mares, they were to be brought before such a part of the house, where she had a vidette (a hole to peep out at) to look on them.” […]
Britons and Celts
My Strength is Yours To Spy
“But when he learnt what was their errand, and that they wanted to estimate his strength, he had them taken through all the tents, and shewed the whole host to them. Then he used them exceeding well, gave them abundantly to eat and drink, and let them go without injury or molestation.” […]
Britons and Celts
A Dirty Rotten Prank
“He took a lozenge, put it in his mouth, and chewed it apace, by means whereof when the fume ascended he began to spattle and spit, saying by Gods bones it is a Cat’s turd.” […]
Britons and Celts
A Heroic Escape
“He shattered skulls, arms, shoulder-blades and even legs, causing the greatest possible terror, and before he left the spot he had killed seventy men with the stake which he held.” […]
Britons and Celts
A Legend in Battle
“With hard steel clubs they clattered at helmets,
Crushing down crests and crashing through brains,
Slaying infantry and armored horses,
Chopping down chevaliers on chalk-white chargers.” […]
Britons and Celts
Nothing Will Stop William Wallace
“But they in vain to break it did essay,
Till Wallace fretting at the long delay,
Came on himself, and with a furious shock,
The bar and staple all in flinders broke.” […]
Britons and Celts
The Man Who Farted
On his return the queen welcomed him home and said, “My lord, I had forgot the fart”. […]
Britons and Celts
Eat, Drink, and Die Tomorrow
“I have heard tell that the night before the day of battle, the English were very merry, laughing much and enjoying themselves. All night they ate and drank, and never lay down on their beds.” […]
Britons and Celts
Please Do Not Read This Post
“My mouth and my nose purged exceedingly, such yellow, white and tawny fluids as I never saw before, nor thought that any such had been in man’s body. ” […]