Britons and Celts
Nothing Will Stop William Wallace
“But they in vain to break it did essay,
Till Wallace fretting at the long delay,
Came on himself, and with a furious shock,
The bar and staple all in flinders broke.” […]
Britons and Celts
Britons and Celts
The Man Who Farted
On his return the queen welcomed him home and said, “My lord, I had forgot the fart”. […]
Britons and Celts
Eat, Drink, and Die Tomorrow
“I have heard tell that the night before the day of battle, the English were very merry, laughing much and enjoying themselves. All night they ate and drank, and never lay down on their beds.” […]
Britons and Celts
Please Do Not Read This Post
“My mouth and my nose purged exceedingly, such yellow, white and tawny fluids as I never saw before, nor thought that any such had been in man’s body. ” […]
Britons and Celts
Young Merlin Speaks
“There emerged two Dragons, one white, one red. As soon as they were near enough to each other, they fought bitterly, breathing out fire as they panted.” […]
Britons and Celts
A Knight to Tend to Every Desire
“I have named a noble knight to act as your guardian,
Overlord of England, answerable to you only,
And that person is Sir Mordred, whom you have praised repeatedly
A deputy, my dear, to attend your every desire.” […]
Britons and Celts
Wha Daur Meddle Wi Me?
“Upon the head, so fierce he struck at one,
The shearing sword cut thro’ his collar bone:
Another on the arm, that stood near by,
He struck, till hand and sword on the field did lie.” […]
Britons and Celts
The Drinking Life of Thomas Hobbes
“When Thomas Hobbes did drink, he would drink to excess to have the benefit of vomiting, which he did easily; by which benefit neither his wit was disturbed longer than he was spewing.” […]
Britons and Celts
On the Eve of History
“He is a fool,” said Gurth, “who believes in luck, which no brave man ought to do. No brave man should trust to luck. Every one has his day of death; you say you were born on a Saturday, and on that day also you may be killed.” […]
Britons and Celts
Fear and Loathing in the Church
“And as I was there about, a crow which belike was by nodding asleep on the chimney top, fell down into the chimney over my head, whose flittering in the fall made such a noise, that when I felt his feet upon my head I thought that the devil had been come indeed and seized upon me. And when I cast up my hand to save me and therewith touched him, he called me knave in his language after such a sort that I swooned for fear.” […]