THE SCENE: In this ribald french poem, a young lady, mindful of the sinfulness of fornication, insists that a Bishop give her a very special blessing before any sexy business can proceed.
THE TEXT: The lady was the first to climb
Into the bed and, with no time
Wasted, the bishop got in with her,
His penis starting to grow stiffer
With her unclothed and him beside her.
He cannot wait to mount and ride her,
But she will not allow him to
Do anything he wants to do.
“Father,” she tell him, “not so fast.
If you want to do what you asked
Of me, before you turn to messing
With my body and cunt, a blessing
You must pronounce and make as well
The sign of the cross, for I tell
You, it’s never been consecrated.
Now raise your right hand high,” she stated,
“and give your blessing right away,
Exactly as another day
You would proceed as if it were done
On the head of a peasant’s son
If he were taking holy orders.”
The bishop takes in what she orders:
That lay a hand on her he won’t
Unless he first has blessed her cunt.
He said, Ma’am, by the faith I owe
You, what you want I will bestow.
You asked for it, and I agree.
The deed entails no loss for me.”
Over her cunt the bishop made
The sign of the cross and then said,
“Benedico. Per omnia
In seculorum secula.”
– The Cunt Blessed by a Bishop, 13th Century AD
