Bone Throwing Only Leads to Trouble

THE SCENE: Saxo Grammaticus describes a Viking wedding that gets a little of out of hand before it gets way, way out of hand.

THE TEXT: A man named Agner, who was to marry [King] Rolf’s sister Ruta, provided an enormous feast for the wedding. During this celebration the champions fell into wild, reckless revelry and were pitching knobby bones from all sides of the room at a certain Hialti, when the man by his side, Biarki by name, received a violent blow on the head as the thrower missed his aim. Smarting under the pain and their mockery, he flung the bone back at the sender, twisting the front of the fellow’s head towards the back and vice versa, so that he punished his crooked nature by giving him distorted features. This incident subdued their arrogant horse-play and forced the champions to quit the palace.

The bridegroom, exasperated at this outrage during his banquet, decided that he would fight a sword-duel with Biarki to take revenge for the disruption of his merry-making. At the outset there was argument as to which of them should have first stroke. Precedence was given to Agner because of his higher rank, and the account has it that he gave a blow of such might that he clove the front of Biarki’s helmet, tore the skin on his scalp and had to let go of the sword which was stuck in the vizor-holes. When Biarki’s turn came to strike, he braced his foot against a log to get a better swing to his sword and drove the knife-edged blade straight through Agner’s midriff. Some maintain that his dying mouth relaxed into a smile, a supreme disguise of his agony as he gave up the ghost.

As the champions eagerly sought his revenge, they were dealt a similar fate by Biarki with the unusually long and sharp sword which he called Lovi. By such deeds of courage he made distinguished friendships among the nobility and even became a firm favourite of the king, who gave him his sister Ruta for a wife, the betrothed of his late victim as a prize of victory.

– Gesta Danorum, Saxo Grammaticus, 13th Century AD