THE SCENE: Honestly, the king in the following passage is so stupid that he deserves to die.
THE TEXT: The king before this had ordered her only son to be put to death at Dunsinane, whether by the severity of the law or because of some crime or for any other cause I do not know. This cunning woman, eagerly desiring the death of the king, caused a certain kind of trap never before seen to be set up in a secluded cottage. The trap had firing devices fitted on all sides of it, always at tension with separate strings for each and equipped with very sharp darts, and in the centre of them there was skillfully attached to the firing devices a statue standing in the form of a boy. If anyone touched the statue and moved it in any way whatsoever, the bowstrings of all the firing devices would be promptly released on all sides and he would be pierced by the darts which would instantly have been shot. When the machinery for accomplishing this crime had been completed, the aforesaid wicked woman always had a smile for the king on her face and at last tricked him by flattering him with cunning words.
Now the king one day set out with a few followers to hunt in the woods not far from his own palace, chasing beasts in various directions with hounds. By chance in the course of hunting he happened to stop near the township of Fettercairn where the traitress lived. When she saw him she urgently begging him on bended knees to come to her house. And running up she whispered in the king’s ear: “I shall reveal to you, my lord, the accomplices of my accursed son who are traitors to you and the manner of their treachery, if you come with me. They hoped indeed to implicate me in the conspiracy with them in order to deceive you, but I immediately refused to consent to their unspeakable treacheries.
In this way the crafty woman cunningly misleading the king’s mind drew him (alas! Over-trustful of her) with her into the house with every circumstance supporting her. Why prolong the story? She shut the door behind him and showed him the statue. When the king enquired of her what the purpose of this statue was, the traitress smiled and replied: “This statue, my lord and king, if anyone were to touch and set in motion the top of its head, amazing and amusing sport would arise from it.” He, completely unaware of the hidden trickery, easily drew the head of the device towards himself and so released the bolts and handles of the crossbows. The darts were suddenly shot from all sides, he was transfixed and died without uttering another word. Hastily the traitress left by the back door and shortly afterwards she reached her fellow conspirators without being caught. Presently when the king’s death was discovered, a great hue and cry arose, as the king’s attendants’ sought the wicked woman in all directions. But they ran about to no avail because they could not finder her anywhere. Not knowing what to do, they burned down the town and reduced it to ashes.
– Scotichronicon, Walter Bower, 15th Century AD
