An Exchange of Insults Gets Surreal

THE SCENE: In an insult contest (a Senna) with Granmar, Sinjotli doesn’t even try to deny his sordid past of kin-killing, cannibalism, and bestiality; his response is instead to throw wild accusations at Granmar, namely that he used to be a witch, a Valkyrie, a wolf, a stallion, and a goatherd.

THE TEXT: Sinjotli stood up, his helmet shining like glass on his head, his coat of mail white as snow, his spear in his hand adorned with a magnificent banner, and his shield rimmed with gold before him. This man knew how to speak with king. “When you have fed your pigs and hounds and you meet your wife, say that the Volsungs have come and King Helgi can be found here in the army. And it is Helgi’s pleasure to fight with distinction while you kiss your bondswomen by the fire.”

Granmar answered: “You are not able to say much of worth or speak of ancient lore, since you lied about noble men. More likely it is that you long nourished yourself on the food of wolves out in the forest and killed your brothers. And it is strange that you dare to come in an army with good men, you who have sucked the blood of many cold corpses.”

Sinfjotli replied: “You probably do not remember clearly now when you were the witch on Varinsey and said that you wanted to marry a man and you chose me for the role of husband. And afterward you were a Valkyrie in Asgard and all were on the verge of fighting for your sake. I sired nine wolves on you at Laganess, and I was the father of them all.”

Granmar responded: “You are a great liar. I do not think you could sire anyone because you were gelded by the giant’s daughters on Trasness. You are the stepson of King Siggeir and you lay in the woods with wolves, and all misfortunes came to you one on top of the other. You killed your brothers and made for yourself an evil reputation.”

Sinfjotli answered: “Do you remember when you were a mare with the stallion Grani and I rode you at full speed on Bravoll? Afterward you were the goatherd of the giant Golnir.”

Granmar said: “I would rather feed the birds on your corpse than quarrel with you any longer.”

– The Saga of the Volsungs, 13th Century AD